My grandpa died

My grandpa died on Saturday - they found him late on Sunday. I didn't get to know him that well. I met him when I was 20 or 22. It's only been two years but it makes me upset that I won't get to meet him again next year with the rest of the family for thanksgiving. I guess it took all Monday for it to really sink in.

I've been feeling weird lately, because it's like I don't feel sad so much for him, but I feel that I am faced with losing my own father.

My dad is 60 years old - and sometimes I forget that. He has diabetes and heart problems and I guess my grandfather's death made me think of my own father's. It's not that I don't feel sad that my grandpa died... it's just that I feel weird.
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I'm sorry...
I know how you're feeling, though. My dad's brother died a month or two ago and I had only met him once or twice in my life. I was sad about it, but like you said, more it's about thinking about my own dad, and even though he's much younger (15 years, I think) and has lived a much healthier life, it's hard not to think about that sort of thing.
It's okay to feel that way...
I'm so sorry about your Grandpa. When we lose someone close (be it emotionally, phyically or family closeness) not only does it make us worry about our parents, but it awakens our own mortality.

I'm much older than you, and have lost all my grandparents, my parents, my sister, many aunts, uncles and cousins. With each loss I can't help feel closer to bottom of the "food chain".

Take time, feel the loss, and give yourself time to heal.
I'm sorry!!! Family is family no matter how close or far aprt you are and it is always sad to lose someone.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your Grandpa. I too know what you mean when it makes you think about losing others that you are close to. My parents turn 60 this year as well and I'm planning a surprise party for my Mom. With the passing of her dog, Pandy, this year, it really made me realize that we're all getting older. I started thinking more about what will she do without the dog, then what will I do for Mom when she's lonely, then what will I do when she's gone and I'm lonely....

I can be your substitute mother. Even while your mom is here. Heck! She's 60! She has many, many, many years ahead!
I am very sorry for your loss, Integra Hellsing. I know he's smiling down on you and your family.

Just remember that your parent just lost their Dad, so be around a little more and lend an ear. Take it as an opportunity to grow your family closer.

Thanks all.

I feel bad for my dad - and he isn't one to show emotions. His brother died a few years back and he barely talks about him anymore. I think he bottles his sadness up like he does his anger. I think if I tried to ask him he wouldn't answer me or pretend he didn't hear it. I do the same thing sometimes.

My grandpa's birthday was on the 26th of this month and his step-children wanted to get to know us all and have a party for him. He was going to be 80 years old.

I think what it is - is that I could understand how my father is feeling... because I know how I would feel if my dad died. I don't want to tell him that though. :(

My cousin went through the same thing, our mutual friend's mother died and she told me how she felt. "It's strage," she said, "I am sad that her mom died, but the only reason I'm crying is because I was afraid of losing my mother."

I think people's deaths don't hit me at first. I didn't cry for my mother's friend until one year later when I realized I wouldn't see her again.

I keep trying not to cry at work though, especially since they have people doing inspections today. :cry: I can't help that my eyes keep watering up though.
debcram wrote:

I can be your substitute mother. Even while your mom is here. Heck! She's 60! She has many, many, many years ahead!

That means you need to start calling me every day and making me feel guilty if I don't see you at least once a week. Do you do that to your kids? No thanks, I have a close friend role that you could fill though.

I hope my Mom has many many more years yet. I worry because her parents died young and she started a bunch of blood pressure meds a few months ago, is always stressed out and sad most of the time :(
Sorry to hear of your loss of your Grandfather.
I worry about my Dad too he's 70. His brother died 15 year ago.
My Maternal Grandmother will be 94 in Sept. She is in bad shape.
I have always been close to here...even though she's not very affectionate. I know she is not long for this life. The only thing keeping her going is visits from Hayley & I. Hayley is her only Great Granddaughter. She has three Great Grandsons. But she told her friend that there is nothing better than a Great Granddaughter. I actually think the boys are just too crazy for her.
(((BIG HUGS))) I'm sorry about your grandfather. I've started worrying about my parents, especially my dad, lately too. They're only in their mid-40s, but my dad works a tough job and he's been having chest pains. He's too stubborn to visit a doctor. Then, they've started riding motorcycles everywhere - I'm scared to death of them being on those things!
What! Your parents are only in their mid 40s! Did they have you when they were 10! 8O
barney1 wrote:
What! Your parents are only in their mid 40s! Did they have you when they were 10! 8O mom was 18 and my dad was 19. They married at 16 & 17.
So sorry for your loss integra.
Very sorry about your grandfather Integra. Our thoughts and prayers
are with you and your family.

Cherish each day with your loved ones and make each day special........
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Integra. I've been kinda thiinking about this, and about you on and off all day long. i guess what really struck me was remeber ing paternal grandfatehrs funeral when I was a teen. I never really saw him much as a child, he was a big work a holic... the only time I ever really saw him was at work. I wasn't really sad, except for my own father, until I went to the funeral, and someone talked about how excited proud of me he was when I was first born(I am the eldest grandchild on that side). That really touched me in a way I hadn't expected.

So I guess, just let what happens, happen. All your emotions are normal, and perfectly valid. The best way to honor him is to really ask about him from your family when you see them, what was he like, what were his favorite things to do, what were his talents, be curious. You may end up being surprised by how some of him has shown up in your own life, without you even being aware of it.

And give your dad a big hug.

Hugs are good.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Even though, as a funeral director I deal with these things everyday....I also worry about my parents passing away. I wish there was something I could say to comfort you, but just know that if you have any questions, please feel free to message me anytime.
so sorry for your loss, give your dad a hug anyways.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
Sorry you lost your grandad - keep the good memories alive and give your dad a big hug, just because he's not good at showing imotion, never shy away, as they may not show it but they feel it, my dad is exactly the same - life's too short
I wish I could give my dad a hug right now - but he is in New Orleans helping with the clean-up so I can't. If he goes to the funeral then I'm not sure when I'll see him again. :( He usually uses a weekend out of the month to come back and see us... but... :?

I really miss my dad sometimes - he usually travels around a lot with his jobs - but this one requires him to live somewhere else. It's kinda lonely without him here.
Oh dear, that is hard - if I could come over I'd give you a big hug, so I'm sending you one now from sunny England, chin up darling xx
Why not take this opportunity to tell your dad how you feel (sympathetic, grateful for time spent with him, etc.). Not a guilt trip - just let him know he is important to you and that your heart is with him in what must be a difficult time. What's the downside? It is just something to regret if you don't do it and something unexpected happens. As someone whose dad died unexpectedly, I am so glad for the things I was able to tell him while he was around. . .

Sorry about your grandpa. I hope you get some quality time in with your dad. . .
My mother called my father the other day to see how he was doing. She told me he doesn't grieve well.

I think he's going through the same thing I am right now. 8O

He told my mom that he was sad that his dad died - but he wasn't that close to him. Just in recent years he made up with them. I guess once one of his children died it was grandpa's wake-up call to make things right. Dad and grandma were happy that Grandpa decided to talk to them again and try to be a dad again before he died.

Dad told mom that while he was a bit upset - that he would have to have a bag just to breath when his mother died. Dad and my uncle really love grandma a lot - I think they want to spend as much time with her as possible before she goes. :(

He's lucky though, he got to keep his parents until he was 60 years old. I think that's great in itself.
My grandpa died too in January of this year. I used to see him all the time when I was a kid and when I was still in high school. My mom would always drop by and visit. After he was getting sick I remember only seeing him once or twice. My mom and dad would go to Yuma to visit. I was always busy with school work too and at the time I was now in college. I feel really regretful for not spending as much time with him as I should. I would not be able to stop the process of death if I saw him and did not want to see him suffer. At the funeral it was bad. My grandma told me at the wake right in front of his corpse, how many times I visited him? She was trying to make me feel bad, that me kind of mad and I have not talked to her for awhile. I am over it, but I don't want to make the same mistake and try to see her more often. She also lives in a bad part of town that scares me. I'm not sure what to do.
Since you're over it, go visit.
I am so sorry for the loss of your grandpa. What you are going through is normal. Your grandpa will be dearly missed.
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