Pretty Ironic
The strangest thing happened the very week I became Robin's/Panda mom. I met the wonderful furball on a Saturday and on Monday I received a call from the school district asking that I please work at a different school for 3 wks. It seems the Special Education teacher quit suddenly, and that school was really stuck, my school having less students could manage without me. It wasn't too much of a problem as this school is located a 10 min drive from my house and still is close enough for me to check things at home at lunchtime. Turns out the sudden departure of the former teacher was due to a little guy named G. Lovable little boy that has a compulsive- obessive disorder and for the entire 4.5 duration of my shift ( or anyone else's) he ask...Can I play the computer? Can I play the computer? Can I play the computer...etc...Nonestop for 4.5 hours day in and day out. I admit it's hard to teach a class with this little guy in attendance. One of the other students is a sweet faced child whom smiles like an angel then suddenly leans over and pinches and scratches - enough to draw blood. (Lifts up arm sleeve to show gouges in arms) ha ha! I have six boys in my care all of whom have some kind of mental or physical challenge. They range from 7-12. I admit the challenges of a new position and getting to know each child and developing a relationship with them is demanding. Not that much different from doing the same thing with my "boys" at home - Panda, Merlin and Blue. I found myself loving the children (yes even little G whom I adore) just as I've fallen in love with Panda. The bonding isn't that much different. G was a little guy that is a bit hard to like as his questions have drove everyone a little crazy and the looks I've received have been ones of amazement...You mean you don't mind him in your class? I always responded I just love this little fellow! Instead of saying No you can't play the computer as he's been told in the past, I relied on a method which I read in a book by a wonderful child pyschologist whom says you pick your battles. I say Yes! He ask, I reply "sure you can play, but first you have to do some work." Now this somewhat suprised the little fellow as he always hears the No word. Yes was something he wasn't accustomed to. In a nutshell the theory goes like this..Mom can I have a cookie? (Pretend it's almost dinner) P"arents will usually say No, it's almost dinner. This theory says you say , Sure you can have one , but first you have to have dinner." The child then doesn't always hear the negative answer. For three weeks I've had G and the rest of the boys, I'm learning what methods work with each and almost do the same thing with my "boys" at home. Patience , Perseverence and Not Letting Things Bother Me Personally. It's a gentle approach at first to let the bonding happen , then being very firm and allowing the children or dogs to think they had a choice. Panda picks up my book, I don't say NO! I instead offer a better replacement like a toy or cookie. He is then praised. Wheeee...took a bit of doing but he's completely trustworthy in the computer room now. I was nervous the other day as it was pouring rain and I really didn't feel good about leaving him outside..(although he has a covered porch) He was a good boy!!! G was the same way...he's doing work..gasp he even works on his journal quietly!!! He accomplished an entire math page!!! Perhaps I am so used to children like this that I have a high level of tolerance as his questions don't really bother me. He does his work and recieves stickers towards a free choice of activity. The first week he always chose the computer, second he started choosing other things..now week three he still mentions it but it's not always his first choice of activities. I've noticed a big change in Panda too, he seemed so desperate for affection and probably has heard the NO word too much in his past. That positive reinforcement works wonders with him. When he does what he is supposed to he is showered with praise. I still can't get over what an amazing dog he is. Same with this little boy G, praise works so well with him. I guess the whole point of my post is this. You have to find what works with that particular four or two legged one you are working with. Each individual has ways in which they learn best..some need more firmness than others . With some of the other boys in the class being too soft will only allow them to walk all over me but with G , I needed to gain his trust in the beginning. Panda, is the same way, we have now bonded and if I do need to say the No word, he listens immediately and doesn't appear to be anxious, it's the same with G. I'm still amazed that these two G and Panda came into my life at the exact same time. They both have helped me understand the other. I tell each one stories about the other too! |
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Way to go Marianne, you made tears come to my eyes....thanks so much for reinforcing my trust in people  you really are special and the kids (2 and 4 legged) knows it too. |
| Marianne
You are always so full of incite into our puppies and people. God has blessed you with a very special talent in your caring of both. I was so moved by how you have handled G. I will have to try this and see if it will work with some of my more difficult clients at work. It might help me also, as my patience tolerance once a month seems to get lost a bit. Continued success in both areas. |
| Thanks to both of you for your kind words.
I feel fortunate that both G and Panda has allowed me to have patience for the other (if that makes sense) I really enjoy my time with Panda after working with G all day..ha ha! With G, I found out he loves dogs and he wants to hear Panda, Merlin and Blue stories which helps me make a connection with him. He asks me about them and remembers their names!! Just like Panda, G is a good kid but had some annoying habits but underneath it all , he just wanted and needed to feel that he was liked and appreciated, and his good side shone through. That's what I found so ironic - they are so alike! |
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