Ever do stupid things?
At the expense of making myself sound soooooo stupid ...here goes: I visited the offleash dog park with Panda for most of the afternoon. Returning home it was a long walk with Merlin and Blue around the neighborhood to wear them out as I was going to a family party tonight. First, I had to pick up my son from work and head to the party. His boss came out to meet me (the other boss last met me when I had my feet sticking up from under the van attaching rope to the undercarriage of the vehicle).  This is when my son and I did that delivery job the ONE time.
So his boss is chatting to me while I'm seated in my van and my son comes out and joins me, we say our goodbyes and then leave. I'm driving..I comment my right eye appears to be seeing blurry and rub my eye. I realize with horror....and much embaressment...I only have one lense in my glasses.  HAAAAAAAA! Egads what did his boss think? Somewhere along the way the other one has fallen out but it's not in the van! It's been "blurry" since I left home and it may have fallen out in the house. I only need glasses to drive and had no choice but to keep going..although prayed no one would look over and start laughing hysterically at me. 
Marianne and the boys Okay I shared my stupid story...would love to hear yours! |
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Me do something STUPID??? NEVER (at least not ADMIT IT) |
| Don't feel too bad. That happened to Ronnie once. He went all day with only one lense and never knew it. And do you think anyone at work said anything? Ha, nope!! They just thought they had broken and one was better than none til they got fixed.
He found his lense in the car, hope you find yours. |
| Ginny already posted hers, something having to do with Kermit the Frog? I think she said; "It's not easy being Green"!
Sorry Ginny! |
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Ok well then the second half of THAT story goes: After stripping my clothes off and revealing my POOR TASTE to the entire world, they then proceeded to load me up with morphine. THEN one of the Doctors came in to inform me that in addition to my multiple other broken bones I had shattered my sternum. In my morphine induced euphoria (good thing I never did drugs) I patted my ample bosom and replied "You wouldn't thing that with all THIS PADDING I could break anything".
That story became as famous as the electric green underware!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID???? YUP, here's MY SIGN~!!!!!!!!!!!!  |
 Ginny!!! Welcome to the club!
Remember the t-shirts that were popular years ago?  I'm with stupid. We can see if they still make them!! Nyuck Nyuck
Here's another "stupid" thing I did and still causes me to crack up every time. I once took out a young disabled girl for a community outing. She wanted to go to the food court at the mall. While we were waiting to get our food, she ran into her friend whom was accompanied by someone. After introductions were made we ate lunch together. The following week, I ran into the woman whom accompanied the other girl. I said, "I feel really stupid but I don't remember your name". In which she replied while laughing... You should feel stupid ,it's the same name as yours".  We both started laughing hysterically.
Hee Hee ...Now I swear I must not have heard her name...I mean no one would forget that...
Marianne and the boys |
| Ive done that too!!!! My best story is this....I swore I was going blind...all of a sudden, my contacts no longer seemed to be working....I started freaking out....then after several hours, I realized I had put them in the wrong eyes...... |
| My daughter and I had been out onthe town one night, the morning after we had to go shopping in town parked up got out the car walked up and down the shops, was wearing a short leather jacket could not understand why I couldnt get in my jacket pockets doh had put jacket on upside down, had seen people we knew. kirsten and I just fell apart laughing. |
| Or how about the time I droped my car off at the Dealer to have some work done, they gave me a loaner. On the way home I decided to make a quick stop at WalMart. I rushed in and rushed out...........only torealize that in the great big parking lot full of cars I didn't have the SLIGHTEST IDEA what kind of car I was driving. I had to call the dealer to as the make , model and plate number of the car I was driving
Here's your sign stupid. |
| My entire life is a chain of stupid things with the occasional moment of clarity. I'm often surprised that I make it through a day without seriously hurting myself. Many times I don't... |
ButtersStotch wrote: My entire life is a chain of stupid things with the occasional moment of clarity. I'm often surprised that I make it through a day without seriously hurting myself. Many times I don't...
Ditto... |
Willowsprite wrote: ButtersStotch wrote: My entire life is a chain of stupid things with the occasional moment of clarity. I'm often surprised that I make it through a day without seriously hurting myself. Many times I don't... Ditto... Whew! I'm not the only one... |
Quote: My entire life is a chain of stupid things with the occasional moment of clarity. I'm often surprised that I make it through a day without seriously hurting myself. Many times I don't...
Oh that heavens there are others like me. I can't give other people "their sign".....I'm too stupid to notice their stupidity. Takes me about 10 minutes to catch on. I wonder if senility is peaceful?? |
| Ok, I'll play along...
One of my first jobs was as a waitress. We had these horrible polyester unforms of a skirt jumper, and had to wear a white t shirt under it. It was really really hot in my jeep when I left work, and I had no AC, so I untied the top of my jumper at the top just to get home. I totally forgot when I jumped out of the jeep at home and my jumper ended up around my ankles in front of my entire neighborhood - who seemed to ALL be out doing yardwork. What could I do?! I curtsied to everyone looking, grabbed my jumper and walked into the house. Of course there was the time when I was picking up a prescrip at the and drugstore and when I pulled out my check book my spare tampon went sailing over the counter. I think it embarrassed the very young boy at the register more to have to hand it back to me!
Now that I think of it, I could go on and on. My life seems to be one long string of those kind of moments! Shellie |
ButtersStotch wrote: My entire life is a chain of stupid things with the occasional moment of clarity. I'm often surprised that I make it through a day without seriously hurting myself. Many times I don't...
Ditto for me.... Way to many things to just pin point a few. But I will give some examples: I did manage to get myself and 3 other people kicked off a Southwest Airline flight to Vegas.
Marianne, I had been out driving around with a friend and was wondering why my eyes felt weird. I was feeling a bit dizzy. I had lost one of the lenses in my sunglasses. I didn't even realize it. |
| Then there was the time I was grocery shopping with my husband. He was debating which kind of cereal to get and I walked on a few paces. When I saw the Grape Nuts, I whispered back over my shoulder to him "Grape Nuts is NOT a venereal disease" thinking I was being funny. When I turned around grinning, I saw my husband waaaaay back down the isle and, behind me, a complete stranger with a shocked look on his face! Embarrassed? You Bet!! |
Deskwench wrote: Then there was the time I was grocery shopping with my husband. He was debating which kind of cereal to get and I walked on a few paces. When I saw the Grape Nuts, I whispered back over my shoulder to him "Grape Nuts is NOT a venereal disease" thinking I was being funny. When I turned around grinning, I saw my husband waaaaay back down the isle and, behind me, a complete stranger with a shocked look on his face! Embarrassed? You Bet!!
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
| I do stupid things all the time, just ask my hubby. One of the worst was that I forgot to take ALL my clothes to a trip to visit my inlaws once. We were staying for a week, and the ONLY clothes I had were the ones I wore up there. Since it was a 7 hour drive, we had to go buy me new clothes. Oops! |
| Ok I am sure you will all get a laugh out of this one.
I was 16 yrs old in San Fransisco on a Teen Tour. My friends and I were walking around on Fisherman's Wharf and we decided to buy some balloons. So we are all walking down the wharf and we are dancing being goofball teenagers. I turned to my friend and said "Does your balloon feel heavy?" So looked at me like I was completely nuts. Then I asked if anyone elses was heavy. I tugged a little on the string and it seemed to get light again. I though maybe I had been caught on someone elses balloon so I kept walking. We were walking really fast...almost jogging. A merchant at one of the stores got my friend's attention and she turned around to see what they were talking about. She started laughing and said Elissa I think you caught something on your line there. I turned around to see...... Are you ready for this one? I was attached to a....... Male Japanese Tourist. My balloon had wrapped around his neck and instead of saying anything he was just walked behind me. The merchant said I had caught him upstairs and he had been walking behind us attached to my balloon until she stopped us. He didn't speak english so he didn't say anything. I think he was quietly saying something in Japanese, but we couldn't hear him because we were being loud. He had been walking behind us for at least 10 minutes. My little joke was I didn't catch any fish at Fisherman's Wharf, but I caught a Japanese Tourist... I apologized..... then my friends and I looked at each other and started laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. We ran until we were back at the street. I felt stupid and embarrassed, but never laughed so hard. |
| LMAO, Elissa. Hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also laughed at the fact that you went on a "Teen Tour". I remember my best friend going on one to the West coast as well. I'm so glad that everyone else has stupid stories too. Most of mind include inserting my foot in my mouth BIG TIME. This is my all time favorite that my best friend will NEVER let me forget. This was when the Bulls were doing great. I was at a Japanese steakhouse with my friend, Amy and her then husband. The next table over was a young group of girls out for a birthday party with the parents. They kept getting up and running out of the restaurant. We finally asked them what was going on. They said that Michael Jordan was at the game room next door with his kids. MJ's Highland Park, IL house is just 10 minutes from there. So, we hurried up and went over to Super Just Games next door. We see a very tall thin African American (MJ) standing behind a car racing game and a bunch of Caucasian boys watching quietly. I say to my friend and her husband, "Which ones are his kids?". They were dying of laughter as there were only 2 that could be his and they were playing the driving game.  We never did meet MJ as he looked so peaceful watching the kids; we gave him his respectful space. It seemed too ackward to ask for an autograph. Looking back I'm pissed because that's the first and last close encouter with someone famous. Oh well! |
| Now I've heard some strange fishing stories, but using a balloon lure to snag a Japanese tourist is beyond belief!
As for forgetting the suitcase, been there, done that. Was going to a nephew's wedding in Denver and got 3 1/2 hours down the road when I remembered, no suitcase. I decided my chances of finding something for a formal wedding in the four hours between arrival and the wedding was impossible......shoes alone can only be purchased at two stores here. So I turned around and went back home. I wanna know how one gets kicked off a Southwest flight. Years and years ago when airlines were just starting to do security screenings, I made the mistake of telling my friend the reason the security people wanted to look at her tiny purse was to determine if she was carrying a howitzer. Today such a comment would earn me a federal fine and time talking with the FBI. Then I just got a stern rebuke. |
| You guys made me laugh at some of the stories! Keep em coming!
This story happened to a neighbor of mine and was the talk of the neighborhood for weeks. The lady across the street is much loved and last week I attended a suprise block party for her 65th birthday. The entire neighborhood came as well as people that previously lived in the area. A few months ago, Pat went to the mall, got into her van and drove home. However, as she was driving she noticed a notebook on the seat that hadn't been there before. Arriving home she glances at the notebook on the seat next to her...then realizes with absolute horror ...there's other stuff on the back seat...IT'S NOT HER VAN! Somehow her key had fit this van and she drove the wrong van home. She calls the police and reports it. Then calls the person listed on the notebook and chats with this guy whom said his wife drove their van to the mall. He tries to contact her on her cell but it's turned off. In the meantime a police car shows up at Pat's house. The fellow calls back and says his wife DID THE SAME THING!! She was driving Pat's van! The police drove the other womans van back to the mall, the other woman turned around and headed back that way so they could do an exchange and Pat rode in the police car to the mall. Other officers hearing this story stopped at the mall to check out the hilarious set of events. Pat's sons who happened to be driving by see a commotion in the mall parking lot (numerous police cars) and glance over to see their mom get out of a squad car! She tells them she's a car thief! LOL Incredibly, the women had parked their vehicles next to each other and the keys worked for each van. I've heard the chances of that happening is in the thousands which makes the story more incredible and to top it off the other woman did exactly the same thing! They say truth is stranger than fiction! So luckily this story didn't happen to me but I can brag that I know a 65 year old car thief. Marianne and the boys |
| Here's a few that involve ex-boyfriend's fathers:
1. We were in the kitchen and I kept insisting that their garbage smelled and needed to be taken outside. My ex-boyfriend finally said, "No, it's Dad's feet". I was so embarrassed, but looking back the Dad probably was more embarrassed. 2. Opened the door to the bathroom only to find my another ex-boyfriend's Dad getting out of the shower. I could have died! The parents never used this bathroom, so I had no idea he was in there! |
SheepieBoss wrote: I wanna know how one gets kicked off a Southwest flight.
It is soooo easy to get kicked off of a Southwest flight. Have you ever seen their show Airline? Anyhow this was a group trip for my hubby's former company. Me being a nervous flyer had a bloody mary before boarding the flight. As we were boarding Billy got pulled out of line. The flight attendant told me to board without him.....which I refused. I said I would step out of line and wait for him. Well the guy that pulls him out of the line seems to have a problem speaking English.... He starts telling Billy to sit down as soon as he starts to sit down the guy tells him to stand up. He starts to stand up and the guy tells him to sit down. To me this is started to look like a comedy routine. Billy finally says.... "What do you want? Do you want me to stand up or sit down" By this time I am laughing, because it is the most ridiculous thing I have even seen and I decide to take a picture so we can laugh about this later. The camera was left on the counter by Billy. So I pick it up. Next thing I know this woman grabs me by the purse strap and pulls me over to where Billy is. I told this woman that this guy that is handling this security at the gate is a complete joke, making my hubby practically jump through hoops for him. She then grabs my purse and empties it on a table. She finds my prescription medication and asks why I have it. (That is illegal... They have no right to ask you what you medication is for...as long as it's in your name) But I answered. I explained that I have panic attacks from my Fibromyalgia which also has me in excrusiated pain 24/7 Then she asked if I had taken my medication that morning which I had. She then asked if I had a drink. Which I did. She proceeded to tell me I was intoxicated.....which I was not. At this point I am starting to get really pissed. She then tells me that I cannot board the flight because I am intoxicated. I told her what does it matter if I have one drink.... I am not flying the damn plane. I said there are police officers all over the airport... Why don't you get one and see if they feel I am intoxicated. Over walks a man from the local Sheriff's Dept. I told him what had happened. I explained to him what the non english speaking guy was doing to Billy and what I did. I told him I was not intoxicated and what was the big deal about me having a drink when the people I was with had more than one. My Dr said I could drink on the meds so what is the big deal? I explained this was the first time I have been on a trip without my disabled son and how I really needed to get away. After speaking with me and realizing that I am not intoxicated and just have a good sense of humor. He comes to conclusion that the guy doing security was a complete idiot. He tells the flight attendant to let me board the plane. So finally the bi*** allows me to board. I ran down the jetway holding my purse and bag....Also pulling down the back of my skirt because it was riding up. I did say pretty loud that Southwest Airlines sucks. I get on the plane and find my seat. Then that crazy woman from the gate it pointing to me telling them to remove me from the plane.
I get up and say "What now?" They ask me to deplane which I did. Then I ask why I was taken off the flight. She proceeded to tell the Officer that I mooned her!!! I was holding bags and pulling the back of my skirt down in the back while running. How would I moon her? At this point I am super pissed because now this woman is lying her ass off. I have never mooned anyone in my life...why would I start now. So I said to the woman "Prove it.....what color underwear am I wearing?" She couldn't answer.... Yeah, Thats what I thought. I asked the security guard if I could view the survellience tape from the jetway and if they can prove that I mooned her I would be happy to leave. They refuse. At this point our friend Ree deplanes to see what is going on. Now they tell him he is off now being kicked off the flight too. They go back to the plane and tell Ree's wife that she needs to get off the flight too. At this point I basically lose it. I start screaming that I want my luggage NOW!!! As we were being escorted away I turned around and wish the woman a short disease ridden life and call her a lying bi*** Ree, his wife Lizzy, Billy & I go down to baggage to get our bags. I am telling them about what happened and maybe was a bit loud about it. At least so everyone in the baggage are can hear what happened. I wanted People to know about this. Next thing I know there are three police officers walking towards me. I said "What now?" I already got kicked off the plane for something I didn't do.... Now I am stuck here waiting for my luggage. It is my right to complain about it and I will." The officers tell Billy that I need to leave the airport immediately or they will arrest me. Billy then tries to put me in a cab and I am screaming that I refuse to leave without my luggage. Billy puts me in a cab with Ree and his wife and we go across the street and wait for my friend Jen to pick us all up. Jen picked us up and took us to my house where we got in my car and me....Miss Intoxicated drove 5 1/2 hrs to Vegas. It ended up being an awful trip..... |
| Oh Elissa........... are you SURE there wasn't a TV program about YOU?????????? |
| A lot of those airport security people are on such a power trip it's not even funny. Ever since they farmed that service out to the lowest bidder it's been ridiculous. They don't even follow a unified standard so it pretty much kills any consistency of service.
Last time we flew, the operator at one lane was making everyone take their shoes off. There was a lady in plastic flip flops which were pretty much a rubber band and a flap of fabric. He yelled at her to take her shoes off. The guy in the next lane, who appeared exceedingly competent and I'm being serious, stood there and quoted out of the manual as to which type of shoes needed to be removed and which didn't. Apparently the incompetence of the first guy had been questioned before.
Elissa, if it makes you feel any better I get pulled for hand searching almost every single flight I take. Apparently I fit some sort of profile but we haven't been able to figure it out yet!! I had a super old security person who was hand searching my luggage and holding every single piece of clothing up in the air. One at a time she would hold my underwear up at shoulder height, turn it around and place it on the table. When I asked her if we could bring this down a little she started screaming at me that this was her job and if I continued to question her I'd be thrown out of the airport. I told her I didn't mind her doing her job but could we at least keep everything below 4 feet, there's a crowd gathering. She looked up to see 40 people gathered in a semicircle around the table applauding. |
| And that children is why mother here refuses to fly. I used to adore the whole process, but now I won't go near an airport. If I can't drive to where I need to be, then I really don't need to be there. |
| when i was a freshman in high school, i had a huge crush on this, ofcourse, senior. And yes he had a cheerleading senior girlfriend. My best friend and i were on the third floor leaving school, when i saw him walking down the stairs. Being so perfect example of maturity i wanted him to notice me on the stairs. So i turned to my best friend and called her a ,EXCUSE my language,lesbo. She hit me on the back right as i was taking the first step to go down. I in turn fell standing up for a few steps then completely sumersalted and by the last step out of 25, crashed in to my crush and in furious girlfriend. There was paper and people flying everywhere!!!!! I think he notticed me
Also for some reason i a 20 year old have been confusing my right and left. i drove around they other day for twenty mintues screaming by finace that he gave me worng directions, but in all actuallty i just took they exact oppisite way i had todo some major but kissing tobe forgiven of that fiasco |
| LMAO at your story about falling down the stairs. I would have DIED! |
| Oh these stories are so funny!
Capturing a Japanese Tourist, Being kicked off an airplane, and plain making ourselves look goofy other times. You know in our teens we always did something really silly infront of the guy we liked...dunno why..must be karma or something? Marianne and the boys |
| I was at a dog show with my breeder and had Daisy and Rosco with me, she had several bitches entered. Being new to this I was VERY confused about things. Took Daisy in, she got the ribbon. Took one of Margaret's girls in and she got the ribbon. They call all the girls back so I enter the ring and do a beautiful stack......with Rosco In all my confusion I grabbed the wrong dog, thankfully the judge had already gone over the dogs so we were the only ones that knew |
bestdogsx4 wrote: I was at a dog show with my breeder and had Daisy and Rosco with me, she had several bitches entered. Being new to this I was VERY confused about things. Took Daisy in, she got the ribbon. Took one of Margaret's girls in and she got the ribbon. They call all the girls back so I enter the ring and do a beautiful stack......with Rosco
In all my confusion I grabbed the wrong dog, thankfully the judge had already gone over the dogs so we were the only ones that knew That is priceless!!!!!!!!!! |
| That's funny, Holly!
Okay- I'll share... In college, I was running late for choir practice so that when I arrived the hall was filled with the college choir members. I opened the door and tripped on the first step and proceed to roll head over heels down the remaining steps in a dress in front of God & everybody.
Thank goodness I didn't have on electric green underware!!  |
| Gotta tell on my dad, too. Bless his heart, we tease him all the time about turning into an old codger. One day he was in the mall (very rare thing) and this lady walked up to him and said "Sir, I hate to bother you, but do you realize you have on two different shoes?" (REALLY different - like a loafer & a boot!) My dad, never at a loss for a quip, replied, "That's funny, I've got another pair just like this at home." |
| You guys are making ME feel smarter by the minute |
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| These stories are great! Gives me a laugh and a pick me up! |
| My freshman year in college, I had a terrible crush on this beautiful guy. Walking to class one day with one of my friends, we spotted him! Anyway, we tried to be cool, and walk along like we didn't see him. We almost made it into the building but hit a patch of ice on the sidewalk and both fell down. The most embarrasing part was I fell flat on my back and she fell face down on top of me! The hottie I had a crush on strolled up and said (I remember it to this day!) "Hello ladies, how ya doing?" Gawd! I could have died! P.S. I ended up dating him not long after that. He gave me my first broken heart but that is another story..... |
| Well... Everyone else shared so I guess I should to.
It was back when I Mike and I were still living in the apartment. My car wasout of commission that day, probably because my dad was fixing something on it, so he was coming to pick me up to go somewhere. He has a green sedan. I always watched for the family car from my window facing the street. He happened to be running alittle late, so I was getting anxious. Finally, sure enough- here comes that green sedan. I go down stairs, and yep- there's the green sedan sitting in the fron drive of the apartment building. I walk right up, open the door sit down, close the door, look over... AND IT'S NOT MY DAD! I had just sat down next to a complete stranger, in a completely strange green sedan- it wasn't even an intrepid which is what he has, it was something else entirely. The poor driver just looked at me and said "Well hi there!" I guess he doesn't get many young ladies just plop into his car from the middle of no where. I was completely mortified, but I explained what happened, and he let me wait with him (In his nice air ocnditioned car) till my dad came. Thank goodness he was friendly and not some whacko- who know what could have happened!!![/b] |
| LOL! |
| I actually did this old picture:
After using the washroom in my office building, while waiting for the elevator in the middle of the lunchtime crowd I noticed that the back of my dress was tucked up nice and high into my pantyhose... |
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