Hi All!!! (Mini Novel - grab a drink and sit a spell))
Had a lot going on and am finally feeling like I'm able to breath again. Long story short I found out our 15 yr old daughter is pregnant. Talk about getting the wind knocked out of you. I thought I had covered everything with her, you know? We have talked and talked about stuff like this and the reasons not to have sex until you were an adult and blah blah blah. I thought I wouldn't have to be one of the parents that had to worry about something like this, I had prepared her. We are very close and talk about everything. But I guess it just goes to show, you can only give the information and what the child does with it is totally up to them. I walked around numb for the first couple of weeks, not knowing if I should be happy, sad, excited, I just didn't know what I should be feeling. I just kept telling myself, she is 15 and pregnant and I have worried everyday since finding out about how she will do with her pregnancy being so young and how this little baby will do. When the principal at her school found out she was pregnant she wanted to send her to the alternative school. Here what that is is a place for all the trouble makers and what the school system deems the "bad kids". Skyler is a good kid, makes excellent grades, is popular and the teachers have nothing but good things to say about her. I couldn't see sending her to a place like that. So I fought for home instruction and got her OB involved and we got approved for a teacher to come out to the house a couple times a week for instruction. YEAH! I also went on to apply to teach her myself beginning this coming school year, in the fall. The last thing she is going to do is drop out of school because she is pregnant. She wants to be a veterinarian and as she said, I don't want my baby growing up poor, I need to stay in school so I can give him a good life. I think she is going to do just fine. Yesterday her teacher that comes to the house a few times each week was talking to me about her and she said she is amazed at how Skyler has it together. That she has a determination that she doesn't see in girls that are 18 - 19 yrs old that have gone through what she is going through. That she feels like Skyler will be one of the ones that makes it and is level headed and knows what she wants and will do everything in her power to attain her goals. And she said that she sees this baby as an incentive to Sky, not something that will hold her back. The baby is due July 8th. It's a little boy and his name is Ethan Matthew. So this is where we stand. Anyway, I've rambled on so, sorry about that. Mallory the perfect sheepdog puppy is doing great. She is spoiled rotten and adored more then ever. I can't believe she is already 9 months old. She is so funny in that she has taken to herding our boxers. She nips them on the butt or ankles and tries to steer them around the yard. They of course, not being sheep, don't take kindly to it and roll her around in the dirt. She stays so dirty no matter how many baths she gets. She still has the knick name of Pig Pen! She has also taken to digging holes. She doesn't even have to be outside any length of time, just a couple of minutes and there is a new hole in the yard. She's such a dork! LOL But a lovable dork. We lost one of our Boxers to Lymphoma on January 30th. The vet had given her only three months from the time of diagnoses but she made it a whole 5 months. I was happy to have the extra time with her but it was still to short. She was only 4 1/2 yrs old. She died in my arms. It broke my heart and I miss her so much. Other then that, all is well. Just wanted to take a few minutes to let you know Mallory and I are still around and why I haven't been on much other then to have a look-see now and again. |
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| Pam,
Wow, you've certainly had your hands full. Your daughter will be fine, she has good goals and wanting to stay in school is important. She sounds like a determined young lady! Ethan will be a lucky boy. Mallory herding the boxers is hilarious  I wonder what they're thinking?
I'm so sorry about your boxer, lymphoma is such a fast disease. It's very difficult, you hate the pain they're in but hate the thought of losing them  |
| You are going through every Mother's worst fear, and anyone who thinks it can't happen to them or their daughter is only fooling themselves. You daughter is so lucky to have you for a Mom and SHE WILL BE ONE OF THE ONES THAT MAKES IT!!!!!! Family support is so very important.
All through my daughters "teen" years I held my breath, knowing that no mattter what you say, do or what kind of example you lead for your kids there is a whole big world out there that pushes them and influences them. I was one of the lucky ones, my daughter made it without getting "caught". But never once during all those years did I pat myself on the back because I always knew that like all teenagers she was only a moment away from being in the same boat your daughter is in. I am horrified that the school would take such a position in this day and age. No wonder teen mothers have such a difficulty road to walk when the school takes such an absurd stand!!!!!! Talk about contributing to the problem. I thought kicking pregnant teens out of school went out in the 70's. Good Luck to you and your family. |
Wow, Pam, you have a full plate!  Skyler will be fine. She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, is looking towards and planning for the future and isn't focusing on the "why me?" Family support and encouragement is so very important and you are giving her exactly what she needs.
I can't believe your school either!!  Up here, some schools even have daycares set up in school for when the mothers come back to school, but none of them ever make them leave just because they're pregnant. That's outrageous!! Guess they haven't figured out yet that ignoring the problem won't make it go away. Morons. 
Mallory sounds like she's so much fun! If you get a chance, please post some new pics of her! One day at a time . . . Chris |
Cancel the request for new pics - just saw you posted some! Mallory is so darned cute, and I just LOVE her tail! 
Chris |
July 8 is an excellent day to be born on-- at least it was for me!  |
| Pam....Take a deep breath...it sounds like you have it under control...You and your daughter and the baby will be okay. I am impressed with your daughters maturity...it is a hard thing to go through.
Mallory is a doll and her digging antics bring back tons of memories...thank goodness the holes are a thing of the past...... xo. D |
| First: Congratulations!
Second: While I know that the timing could have been better, a baby is always a blessing and should never be thought of as less! Third: I know that it is rough and the future will be challenging however, it is not impossible. Although your daughter has made a mistake (the act not the outcome), it sounds like she has her head on straight and I have no doubt that she and Ethan will thrive! Fourth: Skyler has a good role model as to how to be a mom and a rock; they will be fine. Home Schooling isn’t for everyone but I did it. For me it was awesome. I was able to set my own pace and do as I wished with my days. My mom would tell me, “This is what needs to be done you have until “whatever” time to do it.” and then she let me make my own decision. (She would usually give me a weeks worth of curriculum and tell me have it done by Sunday.) Break for a Story: Mom & I found ourselves alone (my parents separated when I was 13 yrs. old) my father did not want to pay child support or alimony, so I pushed myself with my curriculums and was able to graduate at 15 yrs. old and start working to pay bills by 16 yrs. old. I was a cashier at Target, didn’t make much money but the discount for working there helped a bit! At 18 yrs. old I was married, I started working at a law firm in the city as a receptionist and have since worked my way up to a paralegal and office manager. Fifth: Shame on the school system for stipulating that one act should set pattern to her future! However, maybe this is what she needs for herself and the child. If she applies herself, sets goals for her life and the baby’s future and she has the support of her family; she will not be lacking in her education, her emotional state and her baby’s future. Sixth: Keep reminding yourself and your daughter of the brighter side(s), as there is always something that could be worse. You all have my very best wishes and many, many prayers. Here’s to a healthy and happy baby!! P.S. How cute is Mallory??? Oh yes, and I love the name Ethan Matthew! |
| Well said Rebecca! |
| One more thought....my birthday is July 7th! Good Time of the Month!!! |
| PAm, Skyler (Cool name) will be fine. She sounds like a pretty level headed kid and that she has great parents that are willing to help her.
What the school is doing is ridicolous. At this day and age how can they do that? We don't live in 50's or 60's anymore. I love that Mallory herds the boxers, need video. |
| Hi Pam,
Only yesterday, Willowsprite, myself and others were chatting about how even the smartest, brightest, well behaved girls could get themselves in a situation like your daughter. Both Willowsprite and I were both teen moms ourselves. While no doubt the road ahead is a tough one, it also is a experience that brings about incredible strength for the young mom. In most cases they become more determined to finish schools, have goals which others in their age group don't think about - a strength that brings about a new view of the world. I have no doubt from what you described of your daughter that she too will be able to overcome all the odds and provide a wonderful home for Ethan. I had my oldest son on January second, during the Christmas break, no one was the wiser with the exception of good friends and a trusted teacher, and returned after the break. It was a difficult time balancing school and baby and as most teen boys they don't rise to the challenge like the girls, I was on my own. Just like your daughter I had my mom to help me. Pam, you're a great mom and the bond that you'll develope with your daughter will only strenghten over time as you both share in the love of a new baby. Best wishes to you and Skyler and congratulations on the upcoming birth of Ethan. We're all here for you! Marianne and the boys |
| Pam, I'll be wishing all the best for you, Skyler and baby Ethan! You and your daughter should be congratulated for being proactive and positive.
How strange that the principal would try to put her in an alternative school. That was the educational theory 20 years ago in my Catholic high school - keep the pregnant girls out of sight so none of the other girls get ideas! I would have thought that educators today are smarter than that. |
| You sound like the initial shock has worn off an seem to be handling the situation quite well. Skyler is very fortunate to have you for support. More people needs Moms like you!
I can't believe they kicked such a bright girl out of school! I thought they only did that these days in private religious schools. |
Wow Pam, you've had so much to deal with.... it can be overwhelming but you sound like you are handling things beautifully. 
Your daughter is so lucky to have a supportive mom she is close to. As Marianne mentioned, I was a teen mom too... my daughter was born when I was 16 years old, and she turns 15 herself on Friday so it has been on my mind a lot lately! My parents were not supportive unfortunately. I was kicked out immediately. My mother would have been more supportive if she lived closer, but she didn't so she just did what she could. Even though I was out on my own, I still finished school, went on to college and university, and though it was certainly not easy, I wouldn't change anything. I worked hard just to survive for a long time, but my kids have always had what they needed. I am so very proud of my daughter, her and I have a wonderful relationship. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: I thought kicking pregnant teens out of school went out in the 70's.
They were still doing it in the late 80's!  My sister was just half a year away from graduating high school and they kicked her out because she was having my niece.
I swear - I hate it that they do that sort of thing - what kind of future could anyone with a chid have if they don't have a high school education?!
Your daughter is so lucky to have such a suportive mother. It's nice that her teacher is helping her get through high school too. With you there - I'm sure she will have a bright future.
Also - a nice little bonus - you get to help raise your grandchild and see him all the time. Some grandparents barely get to see their grandchildren once a year. |
I grew up in Northern Virginia 20 years ago and even then we had a child care program for teen moms. I think it is ridiculous for the school system to keep her from continuing her education in her high school. But we do live in the Bible Belt now and things are sometimes a bit different than the rest of the country. 
It seems a bit odd to pretend teens are not having sex, prohibit girls from having access to the pill or contraceptive advice and then disown and shame them when they end up pregnant. (Sorry, I'm on my soapbox! Bad Liberal!) Your daughter is going to be just fine with the love, support and open relationship you have with her. She will be successful in anything she puts her mind to. Having a baby changes everything |
| wow, congrats to you and Skylar(sp?). She seems like she had it together!! when My future mother in law got pregnant with Chris she was only a 3 years older. Both her dad, the guys dad and the guy wanted and demanded an abortion, but she stuck it out and had my wonderful, well adjusted exceptionally smart fiance. She worked her but iff and eventually got her masters and is now a professor at a private university here in Abilene. Even if Ethan grows up with out his birth dad in the picture, i can tell you guys from experience that most times its nuture not nature. Chris is one of the most well adjusted people i have ever met considering his circumstances. i can definatley tell taht you two are going to be great grandma's and momma's!!!
Shannon |
| WOW, I'm overwhelmed by your messages. THANK YOU so much for being so supportive, it means the world to me. I appreciate the thought each one of you put into your posts.
I'll keep you posted on how her pregnancy goes. Her next doctors appointment is the 16th. Again, many, many thanks for your kind, caring replies. Hugs to all. |
| Good luck with everything Pam! |
| Wow, sounds like you have a lot going on. But, it definitely sounds like you have a great plan and nothing but a bright future ahead. So sorry for the loss of your boxer. |
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