Being fair?
Some examples of the issues: 1. Morgan and Virginia don't sit, and were never trained to sit on command, this seems fairly typical with showdogs. That's fine, however, I always make Mady sit before getting a treat, or before putting her leash on to take her out. So when I take all three out, I have Mady sit at the front door and I leash her. The other two are not sitting and I leash them. Will Mady perceive this as unfair? "Why do I have to sit when they don't?", will this cause resentment? 2. We give all three lots of love and affection, but we are definitely singling out Mady for more and giving her special cuddles up in bed for example. Is this bad for Virginia and Morgan? 3. Mady gets to go to agility and sheep-herding (and hopefully therapy dogging in the future), the other two don't, I don't think this is a problem because Virginia and Morgan have no idea she's out doing agility and sheep-herding (though, our herding trainer wants us to bring them out for a herding instinct test, we'll probably do that, but it wont lead to weekly herding lessons). But they do know Mady gets to go out with us on a regular basis and they stay at home. Can that cause jealousy or resentment? 4. Mady will be kept in full coat and well-groomed. I will try and see how it goes with the other two, if it's manageable, I will try and keep them in full coat as well. But if that's too much, they wont be. They don't care at all of course, but it definitely affects people's reactions while walking them. When walking all three, I will often have people say "that one (Mady) is my favourite!" "that one (Mady) is so beautiful!" etc. I want to say they are all beautiful and sweet and loving, but I know Mady will continue to get the lion's share of attention. Can that cause problems? I know they seem like silly questions, we are both new to a mutliple dog household. We do try and treat them mostly equally (same treats, expectation of mostly same behaviour etc), but it will never be truly equal. |
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maybe I would over stepping over bounds but why can they learn to sit like Mady??? Maybe it would be a nice bonus for the owners when they pick up their babies to have them know a nice little "trick or two". I thought most summer camps were for fun and LEARNING and isn't this DOGGY CAMP  |
| I know how much you dote on your Mady, and what an amazing dog daddy you are. But honestly, on this one, I think you're over-thinking it. I don't think Mady's feelings are hurt, or that any of them feel things are unfair, or resent you guys for whatever you do or don't do with the others. I think they're happy to be loved and they don't keep count of who gets more pets or compliments. Just keep doing what you're doing and everybody will be happy.  |
rdf wrote: I know how much you dote on your Mady, and what an amazing dog daddy you are. But honestly, on this one, I think you're over-thinking it. I don't think Mady's feelings are hurt, or that any of them feel things are unfair, or resent you guys for whatever you do or don't do with the others. I think they're happy to be loved and they don't keep count of who gets more pets or compliments. Just keep doing what you're doing and everybody will be happy. I completely agree. |
| I don't think you are over-thinking things at all. OUr trainer told us to keep things with Tonks and Luna on a very equal basis. Now mind you, Tonks and Luna are problem children, so this may not apply in your case. And Maddy having her own "Daddy Time" may help lessen the blow when the other 2 dogs return to whence they came. Unless you think this may be permanent? I'm sorry, I don't know the details of how you came to suddenly have a huge crew, though I am jealous!!! |
I know that I shouldn't say this publicly, but holy smokes my husband is just the sweetest man ever. I had no idea he was fretting this much. Notice, though, that he doesn't mention me in there at all, eh?  I think that all three girls are all getting what they need and what they are accustomed to getting. And while I do think that Mady gets less of our undivided attention, she also gets the joy of the company of Morgan and Virginia and the three girls get along beautifully. Going to the off leash dog park has gone really well, and for me that was a big deal. The biggest adjustment for me, and I would welcome any advice from you folks, is how to safely walk 3 dogs on leash. I have been sticking to the side streets as I am just too nervous to cross the big intersections. The second biggest adjustment is that I really do have to stop being such a lazy bones and keep up with the housework. On the plus side, I have lost a few pounds since getting the girls, just from being more active. As for this becoming a permanent situation, I warned Amber today that David and I were falling in love with the girls (for those of you from the U.K. who watch Coronation Street, I say 'the girrrls like Sally Webster says it about her kids-I amuse myself!!). |
how long do you have them for .. i could always give you duff and dream for a month or so  |
| Dave, please relax! This is a dog pack and pack rules apply. You and Kim are head dog--coequal. Then the rest follow. If you must, defer to Mady by feeding her first, making her sit, etc. No dog is going to have their feelings hurt. You acknowledge each, but trust me, they don't measure how much love is being passed out. They live in the moment and if that moment is all lovey and full of rewards........great! Dogs are very forgiving as long as you show them a modicum of love, attention, but most of all leadership. They love strong leaders! So quit over thinking this......it's a girl trait anyway.....and be a strong leader. |
| So quit over thinking this......it's a girl trait anyway..... thank you susan!!!!! |
| I think it must depend on the dog. I feel really bad for Rastus now that we have Tiggy. He was the only child for 5 years and I thought he would love a playmate as he loved other dogs at the park. But in fact he is less happy with his life since Tiggy came along 3 years ago. Tiggy bosses him something chronic and dalmo are big marshmallows who pretend to be brave so he starts of trying to be alpha and then gets scared of Miss Bossy Pants and caves in. Everyone at the off lead park used to fuss over the gorgeous dalmo now they ignore him and fuss over the gorgeous sheepie. Rastus hovers round the edges trying to get a pat from anyone who will notice him  I felt so bad for him that we walk them separately now and Rast is much happier at the park.I know Rast feels left out when I take Tiggy to agility etc because he sooks at the baby gate. But he is actually much happier at home. He is a little anxious and cannot settle when we're out and as has been mentioned by others he lives in the moment so it's only as we go that he's sad. I dole out treats equally but they both have to do something for them. Usually Rastus is curled up on the couch so I ask hm to shake a paw. He's left pawed and has got really good at pulling his left paw out from under himself and holding it up in the air while still staying curled up on the couch Gotta love a dalmo and their penchant for their creature comforts. Tiggy has to sit and wait by her crate while I go and give Rastus his biscuit as she follows me around like my shadow But I have read that apart from maintaining yourself as pack leader it's us projecting human stuff onto dogs as they are used to a pecking order where the top dog gets more and the rest are comfortable in their place in the pack. |
sheepiegail wrote: maybe I would over stepping over bounds but why can they learn to sit like Mady??? Maybe it would be a nice bonus for the owners when they pick up their babies to have them know a nice little "trick or two". I thought most summer camps were for fun and LEARNING and isn't this DOGGY CAMP If they're active show dogs, most breeders don't want them learning a solid sit because you don't want them to sit in the ring, especially if they're presented with bait (treats). I know all three of my dogs will sit at the sight of a treat. The show dog picked it up from the non-show dogs and I had to retrain him to stand if food was brought out. I ended up actually having to drop the baiting in the ring altogether because it just wasn't consistent enough. If it's your own dog, and you want to train both, it's a personal decision but it definitely may not be viewed as a nice surprise upon return from a visit! |
| My girls have a certain treat that they have to "sit" for and "lay" for, but I don't make Violet sit/lay...she has hd so she stands and just looks cute for her treat. The Aussies don't seem to care, they are more zoned on their treat. When the fridge repair guy comes, I put Asia and Violet in my bedroom because they are both barkers, but I leave China out with me...she keeps a keen eye on the guy, but doesn't bark. Every once in a while I'll hear a little protest from behind the bedroom door from Asia, but she does ok. Of course, once the guys gone both Violet and Asia come hunting for China and I tell them to leave her alone. Animals are interesting. |
Both these girls are definitely retired from their showing days (who knew I would be sharing my home with a couple of past beauty queens?  ) . I don't really care if they sit or not, as long as they have a rock-solid, reliable "stay". Mady's stay works best if she's sitting first. But these girls can stand and stay. |
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