Why would he do this?!
I have repeatedly told him, I need a healthy dinner. He did pretty good...at first. Then, he started adding butter to veggies. Making sauces with mayo and butter for fish. I try really hard not to correct him, because I know, he'll stop cooking. I've been having an exceptionally stressful time, between work and my step mom. My nerves are shot...and I'm feeling old. Last night when I got home, the house smelled like heaven. HE BOUGHT BOSTON MARKET POT PIES FOR DINNER!!!!  Pot pies!  Do you understand? I cannot turn down a pot pie!! Pot pie...20 ww points, cin. apples...5 ww points...creamed spinach....6 ww points.....A GRAND TOTAL OF 31 WW POINTS!!!! I got 20 points a day!!! But I couldn't turn it down. He got my weakness....This not so healthy dining seems to be progressing! How can make him stop, without totally having him stop cooking, or providing dinner. BTW...the dinner was fabulous! |
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| im not sure....
especially since he knows....ya know....id probably sigh, say thanks honey, and walk out the door ...when he asks where im going, id say to get something that i can eat.... it may sound harse, but i bet it would only take that one time..... |
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Darcy wrote: im not sure....
especially since he knows....ya know....id probably sigh, say thanks honey, and walk out the door ...when he asks where im going, id say to get something that i can eat.... it may sound harse, but i bet it would only take that one time..... ...yea and then, i'd never get him to make another dinner EVER! |
| Just moan about your weight/health, that you can't fit into your lovely clothes or not losing weight fast enough. A good moan usually actions my other half... I dare not complain because he would have me on a diet & an evil exercise regime.
I guess it works both ways in our house, if I complain, I get action. If I don't complain, he gets peace & I don't get negative action 
I figure we both win. |
that is really difficult. My husband tries to feed me up as well, but chocolate, biscuits, cream cakes. he knows I shouldnt eat them ,am at target weight and want to stay there, but it is so hard to say no!  |
| Deb, the best thing to is immediately put half of it on another plate and put that plate in the fridge for the next day.
If he asks why, just remind him that you are committed to eating correct portions and calories. You will probably still be over a bit for that day, but it's a better solution. I will only tell you one of the stories of my husband's success in killing my diet. He brought home 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies - Thin Mints. My favorite. I can't eat just one... I ate them all. And no, I won't tell you how quickly. |
| Are his meals good enough (taste-wise) to be your one treat meal a week? I mean, if it's just one night a week, it can't be that bad, right? And maybe compensate by eating lighter in the day?
I know what you mean by complaining and then having them stop 'helping' at all... |
| Oh, and maybe say things like, This tastes good, but I wish I had some nice, fresh steamed brocolli to go with it to cut some of the richness...
Is that too subtle for a man to get?  |
| I think a brick between a man's eyes is too subtle! I've been thinking about this all day. We rarely go out to eat...and all the meals I make are very healthy. Maybe he feels if he's in charge, he's going to something he wants. I know his heart is in the right place. And he does know how I feel about pot pies...and he does know it's been a rough road for me. I think he thinks he was doing a good thing. And...as for putting 1/2 of a pot pie in the fridge...heck no!!!!! |
| It sounds as if he was being sweet to you. Maybe not how you would like it but still being sweet. |
debcram wrote: I think a brick between a man's eyes is too subtle!
I know his heart is in the right place. And he does know how I feel about pot pies...and he does know it's been a rough road for me. I think he thinks he was doing a good thing. Yep and if he's like dan he thinks - oh chicken, that's healthy  just enjoy it and go on - they say that is the real secret of thin people, they don't obsess about food and if they eat something they enjoy, they enjoy it without feeling quilty. Now if one pot pie makes you eat pot pies every night for a month, that's another issue. |
crustybirds wrote: It sounds as if he was being sweet to you. Maybe not how you would like it but still being sweet.
He is incredibly sweet.  Although, he would prefer I didn't tell anyone that! |
kerry wrote: Yep and if he's like dan he thinks - oh chicken, that's healthy just enjoy it and go on - they say that is the real secret of thin people, they don't obsess about food and if they eat something they enjoy, they enjoy it without feeling quilty. Now if one pot pie makes you eat pot pies every night for a month, that's another issue.And/or they snack all day long on that stuff thus keeping their metabolism on an even plane! or - they're just lucky. But that catches up to them
Could always ask him to have the butter on the side, so he could put some melty butter on his veg once he dishes up, and you can have some yummy veg without or with minimal butter. It does always taste better with butter...hehe. I'm sure he means well! My husband reasons, and no one bothers to argue with him, that since butter is slippery it just makes everything flow more smoothly in your body, it doesn't clog!  he's kidding, of course. i hope. one pot pie won't make or break anything, so don't feel guilty  |
| Maybe you can make him go for a long walk after dinner? Or a bike ride? |
| hang in there and keep trying i know they just do not get it but i am pulling for u |
| Deb, aren't you still allowed 35 extra points each week? Can you use some of those points for Tony's Thursday night meals? Especially if, like you said, you cook the rest of the week and cook the way you need to eat. |
notisolde wrote: kerry wrote: they say that is the real secret of thin people, they don't obsess about food and if they eat something they enjoy, they enjoy it without feeling quilty. .....And/or they snack all day long on that stuff thus keeping their metabolism on an even plane! or - they're just lucky. But that catches up to them I'm laughing here cause that last remark so sounds like my sister, she is overweight and I have never had a weight problem, I eat what and how much of what I want , she said wait till you are married, then wait till you have kids, then wait till you are old... well all three have happened and I'm still waiting..  but I would really like to gain as I'm skinny  |
| Gasp that meal you described sounded so delicious!
As you know, I'm also like Jean..skinny. I prefer to call it petite myself. 
Now before you get jealous, I envy you! Skinny people also have trouble finding clothes that fit and wrinkles, urg WRINKLES show up so much more on the face. Gawd, I envy you have a mate that cooks! Kaj is also skinny (skinnier than me if that's possible) and he doesn't cook and lord knows I've tried to teach him. I feel like I'm one of those old bachelors that people feel sorry for and invite over for a good home cooked meal. (not the same when you cook for yourself). How I wish I could once enter the house and a hot meal is waiting for me. Nope...if it's Kaj's turn...it's crackers and cheese. Not that I don't mind it but just once, I would love a nice hot meal after I've labored in the garden or been working on home renos. Hey! I know if Todd is receptive....we'll trade mates!!! Think I once mentioned it before for some reason. You've got a good guy there and besides I think he also knows what a fantastic woman he has and he's secretly sabotaging your diet. He loves you just the way you are. |
| Be very careful what you say. I remember when Dave and I got together over 20 years. He made dinner and came and got me from work, All proud of himself for doing dinner and I ask what he made. I said" you made that" he never did dinner again unless I have prestarted it. It was steak and potatos very good, but I am not a steak person unknown to my meat and potato man. |
| all i know is that youre lucky that he does cook...lol..brian only cooks if he has to and that is usually at the fire station...so, ive gotten him to make double the portions and bring the other half home...thats as close as i get.....
or he will say ''lets just go out..'' sigh (btw..our fav rest. burned to the ground yesterday....roofers blew foam into their a/c..sigh) deb, you know him better than anyone...if you cant tell him point blank without having him turn into a stubborn goat, eat half...you know you can do that...you have the will power..... my boss loves those pot pies too...i think theyre gross....yuck...you could have him pick you up a 2 piece white meat with 2 veggie sides instead.... |
| I have had the same situation with Joan. In my opinion, no matter the intent, what he is doing is just plain wrong, and shouldn't do it to you.
Joan is a "feeder". She loves to feed anything and anyone. She constantly treats the dog and always wants to buy and give food that is a no-no. I ask Joan if I were a recovering addict if she would give me a little cocaine because of how much I like using it. I tell her about how hard it is to be constantly tempted by the addiction to food, how hard it is to fight that constant temptation, that the food is literally killing me and it is not helpful for her to be doing these things. In her defense, it should be noted that there is some amount of whining about how there is nothing good to eat in the house. It's not easy being married to me. |
| Well.........
You could try telling him--regretfully--that it is very, very hard to 'get into the mood' if you feel like you've eaten too much or if you feel fat. |
| Gosh have I posted yet??
Deb you are beautiful and maybe he is just happy with having you happy! I am a dork
I like to think the best!!!! |
| Darcy, you're having all sorts of AC issues these days! |
| We had a heart to heart chat over the weekend. This Thursday, he is making a recipe we found for veggie burgers made with black beans. I'm pretty darned excited! |
| Well Deb, knowing you are a W.W. Leader, none the less, I think it may be time to "Lecture the Lecturer." During my weight loss journey (124 lbs in 2 years on W. W.) the single most useful "Tool for Living" that I found was to be "Assertive!" You know all the ways to motivate others, now simply apply what you already know to yourself and, as I tell ALL the women at my weekly meetings, "MAN UP GIRLS!" You know how much effort and dedication went into what you have accomplished, so don't allow anything or anyone to derail you. I was very fortunate, my wife was 100% supportive of my (now our) life style change, but there were many times other "civilians" as I called them did things which could have really put a bump in the road for me. That was when being Assertive was the best way to handle the situation. Next month will be my 4th anniversery of getting to "Lifetime" membership and I still need to be Assertive more than you realize. It's your life, your health and you are the one who has to set the situation right. Good luck. |
| You must have posted your last message while I was still writing mine. WAY TO GO! |
debcram wrote: We had a heart to heart chat over the weekend. This Thursday, he is making a recipe we found for veggie burgers made with black beans. I'm pretty darned excited! Maybe he and Joan could start a support group.  |
baileesdad wrote: You must have posted your last message while I was still writing mine. WAY TO GO!
You always inspire me! Besides the tool for living of being assertive, I went to my helpful habits....especially ASK FOR HELP! Which is what I did...and he was very gracious. I also told him, next time HE wants a pot pie from Boston Market, fine...just pick up some turkey breast (3.5 pts) (with a little gravy on the side .5 pts), mashed potatoes -without gravy (2.5 pts - worth it!) and steamed veggies (.5 pts)for me. A lovely 7 pts dinner for me! He agreed. Please keep after me when I slipped. I need encouragement too! |
Ron wrote: debcram wrote: We had a heart to heart chat over the weekend. This Thursday, he is making a recipe we found for veggie burgers made with black beans. I'm pretty darned excited! Maybe he and Joan could start a support group. With spouses like us, they need it! |
| Thats a really good idea for a pot pie - I love them too |
| Deb, I can relate......It was a moment of weakness....that's all it was!! |
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