My beautiful girl, Kaluha

I lost my best friend and family member yesterday. Kaluha, my beautiful 18 year old Tortoiseshell cat lost her battle with cancer. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the loss of my beautiful baby girl. Kaluha has been with me through all of my ups and downs in life since I was 12 years old. Coming to terms with learning how to live my life without her is almost unbearable. How do you move on after having a loved one leave you after so long???

It's almost impossible to sit here and type this with all of these emotions running through my mind. I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't stop crying. I am absolutely devastated.

I feel very selfish because I miss her and I want her with me. I want to hold her and hug her and tell her that I love her so much and I no longer can. I miss her smell, and her personality. I already miss looking at her beautiful face. I can't walk past her favorite sleeping spot without breaking down. Every room in this house reminds me of her. No matter how hard I try, I just can't function. I woke up last night and she wasn't next to me for the first time in many years. I lied in bed crying and touching the spot where she would sleep on the bed for comfort, but I couldn't find any. I just cried myself back to sleep. Today it hit me that she is really gone. She'd sit in the doorway of my bedroom and meow like, "wake up mommy." This morning she wasn't there in the doorway.....

I refused to leave the vet's office because I didn't want to leave her. She looked peaceful like she was sleeping, and I kept kissing her head and closing her eyes. The hardest part was leaving her in that room and going home with an empty crate and a broken heart knowing she wasn't coming home.

I'm glad that she is no longer suffering and she's with Chelsea now in heaven. I have to learn to live with the memories and cherish every day she spent with me. This will take a very long time but I'm trying to be very strong. Every person is blessed with that one animal that changes their life. Kaluha was that one animal. All of my family members knew how much she meant to me, and we all cried together one by one over the phone.....we all referred to her as my baby, as she was.

Kaluha, mommy loves you very much. You will always be with me, always. I will never forget you. Rest in peace, sweetheart. You are my little angel ~

Image
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So sorry she had to go, but she had a good run. You should try drawing or painting her. I always find it helps me get over the loss.
Oh Michelina I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes no one else can understand how much the loss of an animal can affect us except for someone who has suffered the same loss. We are all here for you.
Oh im so sorry sending you loads of :ghug:
With tears of empathy and sympathy, I am sending your my thoughts and comforting hugs...I, as many here, know what you are going through.. :ghug:
I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose one of your kids. I know it's devastating now, but it'll get better, I promise. That, of course, doesn't help now, I know. Give your sheepdogs big hugs and let them comfort you. I think that helps the most.
I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a gorgeous girl and it sounds like you two had a great friendship.
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet little Kaluha. I can tell that you dearly loved her and she will be sorely missed. Take care of yourself during this time of grief.

Tears,
I am so sorry for you. Having her so long, and while you were growing up - that is hard.
Thankfully, time does help. It makes it hurt less, but the memories are still there of all the time you spent together.

Cancer is rough, you did the right thing for her end of life. Stopping the suffering is a wonderful gift.

She looks like a beautiful cat - the picture is so cute.

:ghug: :ghug:
She was so pretty. I am so sorry for your loss.

We still really miss our cat too and it's been over a year. They really get into our hearts.
I'm so sorry for your loss :(
I am so sorry. She was a beautiful cat. It's so hard to lose your baby of that many years. My thoughts are with you.
Soooo sorry for your loss--it is so hard and hurts your heart so. She was a beautiful kitty. Go ahead and cry and cry--it really does help I think. Having just gone through this with our 13 year old PJ--I know how hard it is--you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I am sooo sorry. I know how you feel, they never are with us for as long as we like. huggs to you and time will heal. Think of all the funny things she did and back to her time as a kitten too.
:( Sorry.
I'm soooo sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, she was a beautiful tortie. I know how you are feeling right now, having just went through the loss of my Molly on Dec. 1st.... it does get easier every day. You will still think about her every day, sometimes you will be able to laugh over a memory of something she did, and sometimes you will cry just from your heart breaking from missing her. What has helped me is the fact that God must have decided I wasn't strong enough to handle the loss on my own and sent Kody to me to keep me busy. I'm not saying you should get another cat, because you can never replace that special friend...but keep an open mind and you will find that special something that will help you get through this. My thought are with you as well as everyone else here. Keep us posted on how you are holding up.
Michellina I'm so sorry! My own cat Bibbers was very sick, near dying, a few months ago. Since then she recovered, and I'm watching her deteriorate again, knowing its only a matter of time. But like you; I don't want her to go. I want to have her forever and ever, and I don't want to be a day without her.

I feel your pain acutely, as if it were my own. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful kitty. But she loves you, always has and still does, and waits for you at the Bridge. Everything you have written echos the pain I fear, and am trying without any success to prepare myself for. But like many here I cling with hope to the thought of that wonderful Bridge, and the dearest friends I have that will wait for me, for you, and each of us there.
I'm so sorry for your loss! :(
:ghug: So sorry to hear of your loss she was one special kitty. May she be running, climbing and being a young kitty over the bridge with chelsea waiting to greet her.

So sad and it is never easy when our beloved best furry friends/kids have to leave us.

Thinking of you all at this sad time, memories will flow of all those wonderfull years you spent together and when the tears subside a little a smile will grace your face again, that is a special gift they leave us when they have to go. :(
Michelina
I am so sorry :cry:
I know how you put all of you into your babies!
Wishing there were words to help....


:ghug: :ghug:

Thinking of you!
I am so sorry - -we are sending gentle hugs your way. :ghug:
I just hate it when there is a new Rainbow Bridge posting. :cry:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a tortie, Carlotta, who could be her twin and is so special to me, so I know what a hole in your heart you have now.

Hope your sheepies bring you some comfort.

:ghug:
so sorry about your loss. I hope time will help heal your heartache, but you did what you did because you loved her.....hugs xx
Joan and I are crying over your beautiful post. We understand how you feel and wish we could take some of your pain away from you. Hold and lean on your friends both two legged and four, and your online virtual friends, too.

Time will take the edge off of the pain, and will allow some of the pain to be replaced with warm memories and the love you shared. But that will take a while, right now it's OK to grieve over such a huge loss, and know that your friends are holding you in their arms and grieving with you.
Michelina, I am so very sorry for your loss. Kahlua was a beautiful girl, stunning eyes. My daughter also has a tortie that looks almost exactly like Kahlua, so your picture just took my breath away.

The first few days are the hardest, but eventually you'll just have your precious memories to keep her near you. Big hugs that you can get thru the next few trying days. :ghug:
I can't thank you all enough....I remember going through this with Chelsea and how heartbreaking this type of situation is, but with Kaluha it's just not the same.

Initially on Monday I was in shock, and yesterday it was a lot worse. It was the reality of her being gone. I'm not much better today. I do know that in time I will feel better. These first few days are by far the hardest and I'm trying to keep busy by working, but I just can't right now.

I can't thank all of you enough for your thoughts and your prayers and keeping me and my family in mind at this time. Words can't express how grateful I am to know I have the support of many friends on the forum.

Believe it or not it has made me feel a little better.....much love and hugs right back to you - virtual hugs do count!
Oh Michelina - I am SO SORRY you lost Kahula. She was a beautiful girl and you know she loved you very much. It is never easy saying goodbye to the ones we love, but especially after having her for so long. It has to be devastating. These next few days will be the toughest, but in time, the wonderful memories of your girl will bring happiness to your heart again. You know she wouldn't want you to be sad. You're in my thoughts. :ghug:
I'm so sorry for your loss. :ghug: :ghug:
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Kaluha and the immense grief you are feeling. I've been there and never thought the pain would cease, but each day it does get better. Take each day one step at a time and one day you'll once again find yourself smiling instead of shedding tears at her memory. She will live forever in your heart.

RIP Kahula may you be running free at the bridge.

Marianne
Oh, Michelina, I'm so sorry :( :( :( xoxo
so sorry for your loss
So sorry, Michelina!
I am so very sorry. What a beautiful animal.
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