Empty Nest
We are moving our son, our first-born, who is almost 23, to Alexandria, VA tomorrow.  He graduated from college last May, moved back home and had a local job until the end of '04, and now wants to work in DC. His girlfriend is going to law school in DC, so this was another factor in his decision to move.
Now mind you, I knew this day was coming. I've been preparing for it since the day we dropped him off at college in his freshman year. The good-bye the day we left him in his senior year was the hardest. Why? Because I knew that after graduation, he would be gone. This was the last good-bye to him as a dependent child. If his first job after graduation had been out of the area and had he moved then, I may not have minded it as much, as I was already used to him not living at home. But having him back home for the past 7 months, getting used to seeing him everyday, reconnecting with him, is making his current move all the harder. This is it. My baby boy is all grown up - he's a man. My job is done. He no longer needs to be mothered. He still needs his mother, he just doesn't need to be mothered, if that makes sense. The final break is here, and it's breaking my heart.
He's always been a good kid, with a good head on his shoulders. From what I've seen as we've raised him, I have no doubt that he'll excel in life. And after all, I keep telling myself, isn't this what we work for? To raise a happy, well-adjusted child that can face the world on their own? Yes, but it still is like a knife through the heart when they leave. One of my favorite phrases fits here - this, too, shall pass. There will always be a part of my heart that will miss him terribly, but the rest of me is so very proud of him and of what a terrific man he's grown into. The time has come for him to start his own life. All I can do is hug and kiss him good-bye, choke back the tears that I know will come, tell him how much I love him and how proud I am of him, and wave good-bye. It's the natural progression of things. But why does it have to hurt so much?
Our daughter is a freshman in college, so I have already started this process with her, too.  But during the school year, we will be empty nesters. And you know what? It's for the birds!
Thank God we have Drezzie! Chris |
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| Chris,
No matter how old we are - we always need to be mothered! 
You may just have to fill your empty nest with more sheepies! 
Hugs to you! Kristen |
| Chris-
Sounds like you've been a great mom!! Now is the time to do things you've always wanted to do... perhaps including more sheepies to your home. Kids always return (often times with laundry !) My mom had the same reaction when I went to school, our sheepie was a lot of company for her. I missed my family and sheepie at that time to. Just because we were apart our love stayed strong.... So hug your sheepie, pursue your interests, make sure everyones cell phone is operating.... (And stock up on some laundry detergent because you never know when the doorbell might ring!!!!!) |
| Chris,
I think your post probably caught me at a strange time as I am balling like a baby. My babies are not as old as your baby yet. They are 4 and 7. The thought about them growing and leaving our home never meant anything to me at first until the days preceding Ashlan's first day of kindergarten. She was only gone 3 hours a day, but for the first few weeks all I could think was she is almost 6 years old and a blink ago she was born. My son started pre-k this year, he only goes half day, but Ashlan now goes full day. It must be a really wonderful feeling though, knowing that you raised him well and knowing that as an individual he is going to succeed in life. Something I have thought is, it is easy to guide our children and hover over them, but you know you did good when they know you are not looking and still make the right decisions. I hope that your heart feels better soon. Big hugs to you! Stormi and co. |
| I'm not looking forward to that day either, my oldest is 14 in March, and it does seem only yesterday she was a baby.
Take pride in the job you've accomplished raising a child, it's the toughest job out there! And you actually pay to do it! LOL I think more sheepies are in order. |
| So moms are supposed to feel sad when their kids move away?
What was up with the party at my mom's house when my sister went away to school? |
AWWWWWWWWW,Im so sorry your sad about this Chris,Im w/ Stormi I was crying also  .Maybe the thought of my baby(shes  leaving the nest scares the blip out of me.Everyone is right tho your son will ALWAYS need you,every woman in America knows men always need their moms no matter how old they get.Sorry Ron...hehe!!You have done your job for 24yrs every day 24/7,full time job,and now think of it as a part time job,you will always be needed but just not for the thankless jobs like cooking cleaning wipeing noses kissing booboo's.He will need you for the tough jobs now like advice,and thats a hard one sometimes for us moms.And if he doesnt need you for anything any more 1thing left you can do,and thats break him and his girlfriend up....hehehehe!!  Im just joking.Make sure you and him have a good phone plan,and I wish you all the luck in the world.Tanya,Mickey,Jagger,and Eddie |
| Thanks, everyone, for your understanding and for letting me vent. Now that the big move week-end is over, I'm ready to face day-to-day life without my son. Seeing where he'll be living helped, meeting his roommates helped, and seeing how he and his girlfriend were just beaming at each other at dinner on Saturday night helped. My son is happy - how can I be anything else?
Chris |
| Chris-
Happy to hear the move went well !! Its sometimes the anticipation of an event which is more difficult than the event... Take care of yourself !! Best wishes !!!!!!!!  |
| Chris-
I'm so glad to hear that your son's move went well. I'm coming from the other side of it- being the eldest child, now recently married and starting her own family. It was very difficult for my parents when Mike and I moved off on our own a few years ago- but it has been such a joy for us- setting up our own household, working through difficulties of all sorts, and now, getting ready to purchase our first home. Now, when my parent's come to visit us, I see such pride in their faces- I hope you will find the same as your son begins his own journey! Karen |
| Thanks, Karen, for sharing your view from the other side. I've been on that side, too. Moved out of my childhood home and into an apt of my own at 21. I never looked at it from my mother's point of view, until now.
I'm sure my son will do well on his own, just as you and Mike have made a life for yourselves. It's just the maternal protective feelings that are having a problem shutting off!  Guess they never will totally, I'll just have to learn to tune them out, stand back and smile, and offer advice only when it's asked for. Man! That will be HARD, but for his sake, I can do it.
Chris |
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