Grumpy old relatives.
We used to ring regularly but it was always the same and we felt totally down and dispirited by their whining and whinging,and every time we thought"we should ring" it just became easier and easier to put it off until next week ect. My father is much the same.When I ring him,the very first thing he says is how bad I am for not ringing more often,not visiting more often,(both the phone and the road work both ways,he makes no attempt to call us or visit),so I only call when I have the patience to listen to an hour worth of him castigating me for my thoughtlessness and slackness.The fact that I have teenagers and work shouldnt mean I am too busy for him. On the other side,my husband and I met a lady about our parents ages(70) here and she is the opposite.Always upbeat,always some good news to share,when we ring or visit her its all sweetness and light and we rarely burden each other with our worries,its like a whine free zone(though not wine free) when we get together.Yet she has had some bad times,her first husband dumped her with 3 sons to raise alone,her 2nd husband took off with his secretary,her last attempt at marriage ended with a controlling bully whom she showed the door to.We see her quite often,in fact,a person nearby said to me one day"Your husband is lucky to have such a nice,happy mother,she just brightens my day whenever I talk to her".I was quite perplexed,thinking he knew the ma in law yet thought her a nice person???Then I realized,he meant this friend of ours. So,if you dont hear from your kids often,think about this...what do you chat about when they do ring?Is it all complaints and whining from you?If you see a hint of yourself here,please try this.Think of some happy events,even if its just a burst of nice weather,a nice flower blooming in your garden,a nice brand of coffee you just discovered,and next time they ring,instead of whinging,say "Its so nice to hear from you.Its been lovely weather here.You should see the rose in my garden,its the prettiest shade of pink......." and keep up a positive dialog and see if they ring back more often. |
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I know exactly what you mean.  |
| DITTO AND AMEN!!!! |
| Thanks for the reminder , I will remember
and gosh for once in my life I must be doing something right  , my 4 kids and 6 g/kids (2 - teenage girls and 4 -20 year old men) all phone quite often and even show up for overnite visits. |
I know exactly what you mean too! And it isn't limited to grumpy, old relatives. Fortunately, my mother is the opposite. 83, overweight, can hardly move around despite 2 knee replacements yet she's ALWAYS in a positive state of mind! I told her once that NOBODY could be that happy all the time! She just looked at me & was speechless!  |
| One of these days they won't be here for you to "choose" if, and, or when you want to listen to them complain. You'll miss it. Listening to them complain will be a lot better than nothing!
How many years does a parent listen to their kids complain while they're raising them. That's a lot of fun too. But, we do it out of love.  |
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