Wedding Invitation

I received an invite to my nephews wedding yesterday. I thought cool...my sister had mentioned he would be getting married. I look at the date...Its Nov. 8th 8O WHAT??? I check the little RSVP card and it says to RSVP no later then Oct 25th 8O WHAT??? Check the postmark(to see if it got lost in the mail), it says Oct 20th.

There was also a .com where you could RSVP. I go to that, check around the site and found wedding remarks and congrats from March. Ok now I'm angry. How could I receive a invitation in Oct(with just 2 day to respond) and they have been planning this since March.

Oh, did I mention they live in Florida? It would take me at least 2mo to get off work and plan a trip to Florida.

So I check around this .com thing some more, found the RSVP portion and respond with "Randy and I were pleased to receive your invitation as an after thought. Unfortunately with only a few weeks notice we will be unable to alter our schedule to attend"

I wanted to be more bitchy but held it in. Now my next step is to call family in this state, brothers and other nieces and nephews to see if anyone else get and invitation and when and then call my sister to find out what the heck is this crap.

And no, she is not pregnant.
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wow; that sucks. Either they genuinely forgot in the whirlwind that is wedding prep... or they didn't want you to be able to come? I don't know; is that possible you think? I'm so sorry; what a terrible position for you to be put in!!!

Perhaps you should send them a calendar as a gift. :twisted:
I would blame it on the groom. He probably didn't give the bride his invitation list until the last minute. :roll:

Most people send out invitations 2 - 3 weeks in advance.

mouthypf
Could be they didn't have enough to be able to afford more than a certain number of guests and had to wait to receive regrets before inviting from the "wait list".

OK tacky, but...
IF there was a halfway decent reason for this happening by some of the suggested responses then your sister should have put a call into you explaining (and apologizing for) the late notice. It will be interesting to see what the rest of your family has to say regarding their invitations.
We have been getting "save the date" notices for a couple of years. Often a magnet for the fridge. The invitations arrive a month prior to date, three weeks is consdered late notice.

I'm surprised that your sister didn't clue you in on the date months ago.
SheepieMommy wrote:
IF there was a halfway decent reason for this happening by some of the suggested responses then your sister should have put a call into you explaining (and apologizing for) the late notice. It will be interesting to see what the rest of your family has to say regarding their invitations.


That's just it-- if it were an accident, there needed to be an accompanying phone call with an apology for the oversight. But, also, how would they know it was an oversight unless they went through all the RSVPs, noticed the missing name and sent the invite out? You'd think they'd feel terrible and call immediately before even sending anything out.

It is weird that your sister never mentioned the date.
We failed to get an invite to an anniversary party for my husband's aunt and uncle.

Needless to say, we didn't go. But, couldn't figure out why he wasn't invited. About a month later we got the invitation in the mail.

Even though it had the correct address and zip code it had been sent to the "country" with the same name as our town!!!

Although no words were said about not getting an invitation, when we did get it in the mail I called my SIL and told her what happened. Then, I mailed the envelope to his aunt and uncle and apoligized for not making it to their celebration.

Maybe the post office misplaced (slid under something?) your invitation before they post marked it and sent it to you.??? Or, maybe they "just assumed" you wouldn't be there since it was so far away, but they at least wanted you to have one of their invitations.

I think we sometimes jump to the wrong conclusions without even discussing the issue with those involved.

mouthypf
I would just assume that they were late getting the invites out forwhatever reason and not read too much into. They may have thought that your sister kept you informed of the date and your sister may have thought they did.

Family feuds start over things like this and I think you should just send your regrets and not be too offended by it. Since you must not be that close to them I would just let it go.
Your response was good..nice and calm.

I would have mentioned exactly how many days between receipt of invitation, deadline and wedding date and how you had wanted to attend but now do not have time to make arrangements. A little jab for the bridal couple. And a call to your sister asking why you were on the "also ran" list.

But then I received a wedding invite 7 days before the wedding with the wrong first name on the envelope. Though I couldn't attend, I sent a gift with both first names included. Never acknowledged.
I often get accused of being "Miss Manners" in my circle of family and friends because I do tend to be a stickler on items of social protocol. I know we've gotten really lax about such things in our society today, but I still believe there are correct ways of doing things and that certain rules should be followed.

I would definitely call my sister and talk to her about it if it were my nephew, if for no other reason, just to let her know why we would not be attending the wedding (insufficient notice).
SheepieBoss wrote:


But then I received a wedding invite 7 days before the wedding with the wrong first name on the envelope. Though I couldn't attend, I sent a gift with both first names included. Never acknowledged.


My own sister mis-spelled my name on my invitaion to her wedding. I really wanted to believe that she had piad someone to address the envelopes ( like a calligrapher or something) but nope, it was her. :roll:
Beaureguard's Mom wrote:
I often get accused of being "Miss Manners" in my circle of family and friends because I do tend to be a stickler on items of social protocol. I know we've gotten really lax about such things in our society today, but I still believe there are correct ways of doing things and that certain rules should be followed.

I would definitely call my sister and talk to her about it if it were my nephew, if for no other reason, just to let her know why we would not be attending the wedding (insufficient notice).


There's no reason not be! I'm a stickler about those rules, too and I do not like when people deviate. It's just as easy to follow protocol than to not do it. Get your act together and leave yourself enough time!
whoa people!!! As a woman that's had to plan a wedding in three months, work full time, get the worst episode of influenza EVER and go to school full time, some things slip through the cracks!

I would definitely call the sister and ask about the invite! I find it odd that she didn't mention the date sooner. I would assume :roll: that being in the nuclear family you would have heard more details about the wedding before a week till :?: :?: :?:

Things easily get lost in translation when u post, regardless if you can be there or not, them getting married should be a happy occasion, with their union being the main focus not all the drama that inevitably comes into play with family dynamics. 8O

Ren M
ButtersStotch wrote:
........and I do not like when people deviate.

It's just as easy to follow protocol than to not do it. Get your act together and leave yourself enough time!


Sometimes protocol has nothing to do with it, its not only an issue with time or health, but also money. Stamps aren't cheap any more.

Some don't know protocal or use common sense. I don't think they teach that in school any more (or at home). :roll:
mouthypf wrote:
ButtersStotch wrote:
........and I do not like when people deviate.

It's just as easy to follow protocol than to not do it. Get your act together and leave yourself enough time!


Sometimes protocol has nothing to do with it, its not only an issue with time or health, but also money. Stamps aren't cheap any more.


Short of a severe health issue, those are really lame excuses. If you can't afford stamps, you have no business getting married. Besides, you'd have to send it sometime so you aren't saving any money. I guess it would give you a few extra weeks to save up that 75 cents that it costs to send out a decent invite.

Unless it comes with an explanation/apology, sending out invites late is an indirect way of telling your guests that your time is more important than theirs or that you really don't care if they come to your gathering. It's rude.
mouthypf wrote:
Some don't know protocal or use common sense. I don't think they teach that in school any more (or at home). :roll:


That's true, but still not a good excuse IMO. There is an entire industry devoted to weddings. Books & magazines & websites that have time lines on planning and how/when/what/where/ and to whom invitations should be sent - the entire socially acceptable and what is expected of you protocol laid out for you. It's all available to you if you care to look. Not caring and being lazy is rude - again - JMHO.
Tammy, you and I should plan events together. ;)
Good idea, Jill. :wink:

You can be my partner. :D I started an event planning company a few years ago. It's called "An Affair to Remember". :D I've done everything from weddings to big corporate functions. I've slowed down some these past few years since I've got a "day job". :lol: But, my day job is getting pretty slow right now, so I'm considering picking up some work again.
And I will be happy to proofread all invitations, etc. since nobody can send anything out that doesn't contain a typo, spelling error or grammatical fault.
Paula O. wrote:
And I will be happy to proofread all invitations, etc. since nobody can send anything out that doesn't contain a typo, spelling error or grammatical fault.


Not me! I'd never send anything out without seriously proofreading but it's always good to have another proofreader on hand since it's hard to proofread your own stuff.

Getting way off topic here, but you know what I hate the most? When you see a neon sign for a business with a misplaced apostrophe. I passed one recently that said "We Service Car's." Car's what? Not only did whoever gave direction on the sign get it wrong, the sign company didn't suggest correcting the obvious error. It's pretty bad when it makes it all the way to the front of a building!

Typos online in a casual environment, not too big of a deal, on a printed piece, though, heads will roll!
I am referred to as "Queen of the Apostrophes" and have no problem whipping out my pen to correct (i.e., scratch out) mis-used apostrophes on public signs. I especially love to do it at my job when I see the PR dept. has yet again screwed up. I also have no problem e-mailing companies to point out their apostrophe ignorance.

I was asked to proof a brochure our PR dept. was putting out and I wrote regarding the sentence "We are open until 5 pm on Friday's" "Friday is neither a possessive nor a contraction, so the apostrophe is not needed."
Unless they close at 5PM on Friday's birthday, assuming Robinson Crusoe's friend's birthday occured on a weekday.


:D :D :D :D :D
I hate misplaced apostrophes too. :lol: One my personal favorites is our own breed being referred to in plural as OES's. :twisted:
ButtersStotch wrote:
Paula O. wrote:
And I will be happy to proofread all invitations, etc. since nobody can send anything out that doesn't contain a typo, spelling error or grammatical fault.


Not me! I'd never send anything out without seriously proofreading but it's always good to have another proofreader on hand since it's hard to proofread your own stuff.

Getting way off topic here, but you know what I hate the most? When you see a neon sign for a business with a misplaced apostrophe. I passed one recently that said "We Service Car's." Car's what? Not only did whoever gave direction on the sign get it wrong, the sign company didn't suggest correcting the obvious error. It's pretty bad when it makes it all the way to the front of a building!

Typos online in a casual environment, not too big of a deal, on a printed piece, though, heads will roll!


Ugh. I HATE the misplaced apostrophe too. I understand not everyone 'gets' all the grammar and punctuation rules out there, but how difficult it is to understand that an apostrophe means a possessive.

Everyone at work always brings me their personal stuff to proofread, like wedding invites (nope, not invited!) and Christmas cards, etc.

I think the worst is when you see ads in papers or on tv with the apostrophe.

I bet the neon sign company doesn't say anything because they're just happy to get the extra $$ for the '
^^^
oh come one I bet they don't realize the mistake either. our state education department sends out stuff with bad grammar all the time - I believe accuracy is a lost art. says the person with the worst typing skills on the list :oops:
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