Fear Of Flying
I have only flown once & that was to FL (2 hours aisle seat). The trip to SF is 2/2 & back 2/8 This is a 6+ hour flight. Our seats are row 10 middle & window. I am not afraid of crashing etc. I am terrified of being in small spaces, not having the option to leave. I am obsessing & it is a month away. By 2/2 I will be a panicked mess. I am not worried about the flight back as much b/c we have first class aisle seats. Any tips on toughing this out? I will definitely have Xanax in my carry-on. I don't drink so that is not an option. Any advice, suggestions, support would be help (I hope). thx I am also obsessing about leaving the doggies. |
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| Can you see if you can get in an aisle seat if it would make you feel better? You can also find out the difference in price between the coach seat and first class and maybe pay the difference. I love to fly, but have been on the plane with many people, relatives and strangers who are afraid. When I sit next to someone who is afraid, I usually keep them talking through out the flight, about themselves. Each time they have thanked me for helping them through the flight and it was the best flight they had been on. Besides the drugs, try bringing a portable DVD player with headphones so you can watch a movie or three, you really can absorb yourself in. If you can absorb yourself in music, maybe try a headset of some type you can play your favorite music on.
What a nice gift you where given. I hope you really do enjoy your trip.  |
| i did put in a request for. an aisle seat
Haven't heard back yet |
| Sue, I, too, am a fearful flyer, but fly several times a year. I think my fear is the loss of control, so I also don't drink when I fly. I have, in the last couple years, started taking Xanax for my trips. I take a very, very low dosage (since I'm not used to taking that sort of med, its really all I need). It has worked wonders for me. Yes, I still get very nervous, but somehow, it seems not so panicy for me. I make sure I take it 2 hours before the flight (sometimes even one the night before if its an early morning flight, and the one 2 hours before flight). Oh...and always eat something before you fly. I don't like to talk while I fly, and Tony understands this. I always wear dark glasses, and bring my Ipod to sort of shut myself off from the experience. I'm pretty good, once the plane has reached cruising altitude, and can relax a bit...but I still keep to myself. I often make myself get up and go to the restroom, just to move around, and waste sometime. Ok..this is big... I NEVER, EVER ORDER A DRINK. BECAUSE (ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?) I DON'T LIKE TO SEE THE LIQUID MOVING AROUND IN THE GLASS TO REMIND ME I'M FLYING! I know that sounds crazy, but if you have fear, you'll understand. I take a bottle of water with my and tuck it in the pocket on the seat in front. Years ago, I had a tape from a Captain Cummings (retired American Airlines pilot) to overcome fear. It was wonderful. He talked you (real time) through the whole flight to desensitize you. The tape is long gone, but I still "play back" parts in my head from memory and that helps. On take off, when you are going down the runway, he'd tell you to wiggle your toes. The faster the plane goes, the fast you wiggle. Why...it gives you something else to think about. Once the plane takes off he would say, "Congratulation, both you and the plane have taken off, and neither one of you has fallen apart!" During turbulence (should that happen) he would say to pretend you are on horse drawn carriage ride on a cobble stone road." Nice image, eh? I also like to envision where I'm going and get excited about that, and not where I am at the moment. Al Jarreau had a song out years ago, and a line from it stays with me the whole flight. "I know I can, like any man, reach out my hand, and touch the face of G-d". You know in a plane, you are closer to G-d, and know that he will take care of you. Oh...and of course...FLYING IS MUCH, MUCH SAFER THAN DRIVING!!!! San Fransico is great place! It will really be worth the discomfort. Have a great time, and sorry this is so long. I hope it helps a bit!!! |
| I agree. My biggest problem with flying is that I am not in control! I also end up on really long flights every time. The short ones are a breeze. I go to Argentina in May, and the second leg of that flight is 11 hrs. That is after flying from Las Vegas to Dallas with a 2 hr layover. I find the only thing I can do is try to keep entertained, get up and pee a lot, and let God take care of me. I am always a wreck too...but no drugs yet. |
My daughter is BEGGING me to go to Israel with her next summer. We'd go to Israel, take a ship to Greece and Italy. I want to go so badly, but.. I just can't face the 14 hour flight.Ugh...... |
My dad had a terrible fear of flying - this was 20 years ago but his doctor gave him a tranquilizer. He basically slept the entire trip and woke up where they landed. 
I fly a lot for business - my mind thinks of it more like a bus or train commute anymore. Take an mp3 player, tune out with some music or podcasts - I like to save up podcasts from my favorite radio shows on NPR like "This American Life", "What Do You Know" and "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me". They really pass the time well. I flew to Hawaii last Sept and am going again in 2 weeks (business trips...sucks to be me, huh?  ). Thirteen hour total travel time went by fast that way. Extra batteries... |
| You have lots of time between now and then to talk yourself into a state of mind that can tolerate the flight. Make a list of all the positive wonderful things you will do and experience once you get there. Put that list on your fridge, in your bathroom, anywhere you will see it several times a day. Plan activities to make the time go faster; ipod, books on tape, good book to read etc) to fill up the flight time. We have alot of control over out own thoughts and if you have a chat with yourself every day between now and then about all the good things and stop focusing on your fear it will help.
You might want to try a hypnotist, better than drugs. If you rely on drugs to get through the flight you won't have done anything to overcome the fear. Drugs should be a last resort. Think of what a great accomplishment it will be to spend this next month doing positivew things to overcome the fear. You will not be anxiety free, accept that now. But know that with planning and forethought you can reduce that anxiety to a tolerable level. |
| Ginny, drugs have helped me overcome some of my flying issues. Before I started taking them (please! remember I take one .25 mg), I would be almost paralyzed with anxiety for about a month before the flight, just thinking of it. Now, I know I have something to relieve my fear on the day of the trip, so I don't have those pre-flight jitters anymore. Used wisely, and frugally, meds are our friends  .I agree to "prep" yourself before with happy thoughts of the vacation, and plans on what you will do, on vacation, and on the plane. |
| Shall I tell my MRI claustrophobia story now?
Naaaaah. Good luck on the flight, I know you will make the trip and you will get through it just fine. Afterwards you'll be wondering what the worry was all about. |
| Yes indeed, drugs are our friend. But my point is this is a long term life limiting problem for you. Maybe it's time to seek a solution. Think of all the great times ahead if you could free ourself of this fear (or at least minimize it).
I'd look into some behavior modification therapy!!! |
I have always loved flying and I think it comes from my parents being in the Air Force and me being conceived there!!! 
From the time I can remember, my dad has had us in and out of planes, doing flight simulations, air traffic control simulations. I think that that sort of thing has given me a great in depth level of knowledge and as they used to say on Schoolhouse Rock, knowledge is power. Maybe doing some training or some reading/studying about the inner workings of the airplane might help. If you know what's going on during the flight it may help to soothe some of that anxiety, if not about the small spaces, just giving you some control of yourself. |
Maxmm wrote: I have always loved flying and I think it comes from my parents being in the Air Force and me being conceived there!!!
 As in "the mile high club"????? :oops: |
I really sympathize...Im exactly the same way.  Im not especially scared of crashing...I just have a really rough time with being forced into close contact with lots of strangers in a small confining space!
I have to fly a fair amount for my business though, so Ive tried a variety of ways of coping. Meds have been a lifesaver on occasion, but I hate the groggy out-of-it feeling I still have for hours after landing  . A few thing that help me are: earplugs (the sounds on a plane are a big part of the fear for me, I think), sitting on the aisle if possible, getting up as often as possible (ok, Im sure this is annoying to others, but I pretend to need the bathroom frequently ), a really distracting book...maybe even something SCARY! I once read a book called "Parasite Nation", which is about all the parasites we dont know about in our own bodies, etc, while on a long flight....trust me, I wasnt focusing on my fear of air travel!  |
| Deb, flying El Al......I'd need Xanax just to get on the plane. The security check is incredible. Anyway, consider taking the trip over in two steps. Fly into some European city, stay a day or two and then go on. Coming home you'd probably welcome a nonstop and wouldn't mind the 14 hours.
And Ron, no........I live in fear of ever having an MRI. I get nauseous just thinking about it and generally I'm not afraid of small spaces, but even I have my limit. |
| I am considering all your advice & appreciate it.
I have been claustrophobic as long as I remember. I do have a therapist. I like the many trips to the bathroom suggestion, but someone will be sitting on the aisle (if I can't get the seats changed). I do like to read. Speaking of MRI & or CAT scans. I once crawled out of one & left. |
| FYI, there is a new law about taking extra batteries on the plane - so read up on it before you go. I think there is a max of 2 extra batteries and they have to be.... I don't remember.
I'm not a great flyer. But I focus on the results - where I am going and what I'm going to do there. Take knitting, crosswords, something to keep you busy. Deb, we flew to Barcelona a couple of years ago. Avoid Iberia - small seats and they ran out of Diet Cokes and breakfast on the way back (think Coke Nazi). Spain was awesome. |
| Do they allow knitting needles? |
| Yes, knitting needles are allowed. http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm#4 |
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