up most of the night. Had 3 hrs sleep. Been up at 2:30 Am.
How nasty that was to gang up on me. One thing my husdand is I talk to much to you. I will never say one word again to anyone either here or at home about my feelings. |
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| Deanna, I am having a great deal of difficulty understanding what your post is trying to say......... What is "this"? I'm not aware that anyone thinks you have said anything bad about anyone. |
| I guess I don't understand how co-owning works. You keep saying "IF we get to keep her..." Why wouldn't you be able to? You paid for her, ...and at LEAST own 50% right?
Outside of that, it sounds like you're very determined to keep Darcy! That's great!  So, why sweat anymore? That would make me even more determined to prove to everyone else that I could take care of her. It's exciting that you're getting a fence.
Just keep staying positive!!!
Here's something to keep in mind. A lot of people.....A LOT... want to give up their puppy the first year they get him/her. I know I'm no exception!!! I went through many days where I thought she would never learn, never get better, never calm down, and never just be how I always imagined. Guess what? I went through the same thing with ALL FOUR of my animals. Once I got past the first year with each of them, those thoughts always went away! Not sure what it is, but I have many friends who go through the same thing in those puppy/kitten stages.
Make a decision to get through this and train your beautiful dog. Then just ignore the hurtful words but keep the tips in your head! Hang in there! |
| Jo, yes we co-own but I did not have to pay for her. She gave her to us after Fergie died. |
| You paid for Fergie though...didn't you. Any reputable breeder would replace a loss. |
| Your new but no I did not pay for Fergie either. She was born with health issuses and she asked if we would care for her. Ofcourse we did. We have rescued 2 others from her too. |
| OES Mommy,
I haven't been online much so trying to understand what's going on and I'm not sure exactly what happened. Just wanted to send you positive thoughts, you sound so stressed and worried about something that happened. I feel for you. Marianne |
Marianne wrote: OES Mommy,
I haven't been online much so trying to understand what's going on and I'm not sure exactly what happened. Same for me!! I missed the most posts, difficult even if I try to read all the threads! I'll hope you can keep your Sheepie and I send you loads and loads of Sheepie hugs!!!!  
Keep us updated!!  |
Thank you so much for careing. I still can't stop crying. Darn me, Now I have gone and got myself sick . I have a hard time breathing. Yeh I know poor me. I have done this to my self. I should being hearing from Madeline today. Hard thing is if we have to give up Darcy we will let Cinde go too.  |
Why? would you have to give up Darcy? Is it because your co-owner and the other person will decide and is the "original" owner? Why is Darcy not with you now?  and what do you mean with you "let Cindy go"???!!! Is she your other Sheepie and what would happen to her if? Couldnt you keep her???
All my fingers cross for you and most of all, a good outcome for you, your husband and Darcy!! (and Cindy)
Please try to stop crying and think positive and let us know the outcome!! |
| I know...I am confused too. |
| Oops. Sorry...I meant to say I hope all works out well. |
| Sounds like this is best dealt with privately between you and Madeline and not on the forum. I am very sorry you are going through a difficult time but airing bits and pieces here will only cause hard feelings. |
| I agree. If you're seeking support or advice, it would be beneficial to explain the entire situation and background and give a complete picture rather than bits and pieces. But if it involves someone here in the OES community or who has ties to the community, it's much more appropriate to handle it privately. The posts are cryptic and incoherent, and leave more questions than answers. If people printed out posts of yours and showed them to someone expressing concern, you should talk to them privately. Maybe they can explain why they were so concerned. Or maybe there was just a misunderstanding. I think attempting to surreptitiously guilt trip people is very manipulative. I'm not trying to be mean or unsympathetic, and I am very sorry that you are upset. I hope you can work everything out in a healthy, sensible manner. Not all criticism is mean-spirited. Perhaps if people are expressing concerns about you, they are merely just that... "concerned". Try talking to them and ask them why they feel the way they do, and try to listen to the reponses with an open mind. Perhaps you've given people the wrong impression of yourself without even realizing it. Remember though, it's not just what you say, it's how you say it. |
| If you love your dogs, fight as hard as you can to keep them, but only if its the best thing for you and them. Don't let anyone, but you're husband influence your decisions.
I've always been against co-ownership because of the hard feelings that can develope between the co-owners. If you get her back, maybe you could somehow end the co-ownership, but yet make a deal that if you ever have to part with her that the other owner would get her back. I'm sorry you're having these problems, and especially that you feel that your friends have attacked you. A lot of us have felt that way for some reason or another, but take comfort in knowing that just because a few leave you with a feeling of disappointment, you still have friends that care. I hope everything turns out good for you, and the dogs. |
| Deana, please take care of yourself. If you are not well you will not be able to take care of anything, or be rational or make good decisions.....
OES Mommy wrote: Hard thing is if we have to give up Darcy we will let Cinde go too.
I am not understanding what any of this has to do with Cinde.  |
| I am trying get more rest. The reason to give up Cine too. Is I was also bad mouthed about her too. There are 6 of you who had came up to madeline at the show and had print out about by posts and concerned.
Why don't people keep their BIG mouths SHUT instead of breaking up this whole family AND YOU DID IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Deana, I had thought it better not to comment on anything in these threads, but as you become more and more agitated, I think you need to better understand what and why things were said. First of all, no one did anything to intentionally hurt you or break up your family, nor did anyone bad mouth you. All things that were discussed with Madeline were things you said verbatim on the forum. Several of us expressed concerned about your ability to keep up with the high demands of a young pup and the care of your elder dog and her mobility problems. No one that I know of printed anything out but all the things that were said are readily available for Madeline to see on the internet and, I can assure you, nothing was made up to be hurtful or malicious. This was not a conspiratorial group out to get you, just a group of us on the forum that read your posts and have found the situation concerning.
You say Cinde can’t get up but yet you only give her aspirin. Many people have offered advice in terms of other solutions, medications that could help or those they have had success with but from what you, yourself say on the forum, you haven’t tried anything new with her because you said “They said she has hip joints that are bad from being tied to a tree for 3 yrs.” I think we all understand the reasons why the joints are bad, but not the reason why other therapies haven’t been explored. You ask about alternative therapies like acupuncture but seem to be overlooking some medical options that could be explored, and many of us do not understand why. I think if people weren’t concerned, I’d be more worried. You’ve had many posts about how “Darcy was bad again” or how she, in some way, injured you and how you can’t handle her. When you found that the dog was overweight, you said that you couldn’t control your husband from overfeeding her. Ultimately, if there are situations occurring beyond your control, you really have to consider if the dog is in the best place it can be to have a good, quality life. We all know you love her and, because of that, you really have to look at what kind of life you can realistically provide for her. Even though your intentions may be good, the reality of the situation can be quite the opposite. Sometimes some dogs just aren’t a good match for every family. Though it’s hard to accept, it is sometimes the truth. We all want the best for all of our dogs and yours too. The concern that we expressed is because we do care, not because we don’t. |
| Deana, I too agree with Jill.
You posted a topic under Behavior on August 15th titled: We have just about had it!!!!! HELP In that post you wrote: Quote: I don't know that we can make it with puppy Darcy. She is SO hard to handle. We don't enjoy her like Fergie or our other dogs.
I was worried then that if you are going to change your mind about Darcy, which is perfectly okay, that you would wait and she would be older and harder to re-home. You seem to continue having problems with her and it would be in her BEST INTEREST to give her up sooner than later, if you are going to do so. That way she stands a better chance of being a good dog when someone else takes her. |
| While I am sympathetic to Deana, I share Jill's concerns. I glad someone said something to Madeleine because as co-owner of Darcy and rescue placement director for Cinde, it is her responsibility to make sure those dogs are getting adequate and appropriate care in addition to love. |
| Deana, what you've been describing simply is not normal dog/human interaction. If this were a person doing these things to you they'd be arrested for abuse! If you go back and read through the posts you've made I think you'll come to see how bad it really has become.
Quote: She still bites at me and sits and barks.
I HURT ALL OVER!!! I don't have swelling but feel like I got hit by a truck. There seems no damage to the implants. Just inside brusing. Mt legs got brush burns and black and blue. By the end of the week I should be somewhat healed from the bites and ribs. I was just getting over the pain from the cracked ribs and Satruday I was going into our bedroom when she took a running jump from the back , hit me right over hard on the same ribs. she like to get at the back of your knees, makes you fall. I am the one who get bitten all the time. If you could see my arms lad bottom legs I just was sitting here on my lap topn this site, Darcy just can running uo and bit me in the arm. WHY.............. When I got up and told her NO she went after my anckles. got me twicee again. got them all back in and now hereI amwith more pulls to my chest. Pain and sufferering seem to be the only thing I know. This time I was on my knees and they were bleeding. Right one the worst. I hurt all over. Cinde is getting so bad she falls. She just tried to get up one step from our pourch to get into the house. She fell off and could not get up. It took me so long to get her upright. I now am useing a back brace for my back. Between Darcy pulling me around and having to lift Cinde I can hardly stand. I can not handle Darcy. She is so strong she pulles me right off my feet. I have a wrenched back now from trying to walk her. It's not normal for someone to be beat up by their dog... especially when it's a show dog that should be learning discipline. It is NOT your fault if you simply can't control her. Like I said, there are some dogs that simply need a strong handler. ALL of us here are concerned about you... you can't be happy being physically hurt so many times by Darcy. And if Cinde can hardly move and you can hardly move Cinde, that can't be easy when she so often falls down. Madeline needed to know what was happening with dogs she placed... it is her responsibility to place dogs that are matched with their people. If there are problems, she needs to know so she can possibly help to make things better. Being a public message board that's read around the world, it was only a matter of time before the problems you've been experiencing were brought to her attention. We honestly want you to succeed... that's why so many of us have shared experiences and advice. Sometimes we need to step back to get a clear view of what's really happening, reassess things, then make some decisions. Sometimes they're tough ones. |
| Deanna I just want to give you a view from an outsider to all this and what you have been posting over the last few months that is read by a lot of people around the world.
Your quote in one of the threads.... "I find your words harsh as I am doing my best due to what we have gone through to the point that I have asked Richard if he wants to separate , give Madeline Darcy back, and have Flannigan and Cinde put to sleep.. This has not been easy here for us and most of you know it. If feeding the dogs can cause us to separate after 30 yrs of marriage well let it be. I have reached the end of my rope. I have been dragged 3 time in one week and have cuts bruses ect all over. Maybe your right " (I actually find that "quote" of putting Cinde and now flannigan to sleep quiet distressing after you posted that) Previous thread on Cinde a few months beforehand in the medical section "We may have to have Cinde put to sleep" (Deanna the easy way out for an 8 Year old that deserves a good chance for more quality years to come in her life) People gave you advice back then, later you posted again in the medical section "What to Do?" same sort of advice and no answer to wether you have her on more then asprin, wether she is on daily supplements, but we do know you are working on getting her weight down now. Do you really wonder why you have brought this situation on yourself? I am not being nasty and I really do feel for you & your situation, but from an outsiders point of view you do raise a lot of concerns. Also everything you have posted on Darcy there is not one post of anything happy about having her, just negative things that have happened and your lack of ability to cope with her. Just a perspective from someone reading your posts. I hope you evaluate everything and really sit down with richard and think your whole situation through as to wether you can handle/cope with everything with these two dogs. Remembering also Darcy has not even begun the naughty teenage phase yet, which IMO is harder then the puppy stage for control of them and if cinde does need someone else that can manage her and give her a few more quality years yet. Please don't take this the wrong way only giving you an outsiders point of view from all of your posts lately on both the girls. I hope you can keep darcy and cinde but you really do have to take a deep, open and honest look at the situation with both of them. Also remember everything you post on the web is read by all and interpreted in many different ways. And you really wonder why people reading your posts are not displaying concern for both the girls?
Please take a mature look & a reality check at the whole situation in your family with all that has been going on. No one wants to judge you, I certainly don't, but you do raise lots of concern. |
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