Montana cowboy
___________________________________________ A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a U.S. Congressman", says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog." |
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| Thanks for the chuckle! |
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LMAO... that was awesome. Love it... although the subject line was misleading, here I am thinking something sexy like Horse Whisperer  |
| RFLMAO |
| I love that joke. That's the best version I've heard of it. |
| Hahahahahaha |
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| LMAO |
| hehehe, there are just a few lines missing here:
First, the car would have to be a BMW SUV....even though the gentleman driving would swear it was an efficient alternative fuel burning hybrid vehicle. Second, the gentleman would have exited the car while a photographer would have climbed out the back seat and begun taking pictures. The well dressed gentleman would have then shaken the cowboy's hand while have pictures taken. Third, gentleman would not have done all the calculating himself, but have a staff member, who was also stuffed into the back seat, do all the electronic wizardry while the gentleman flooding the cowboy with how privledged the cowboy was to be in the particular valley that the gentleman has personally protected. The young gentleman would not have personally stuffed the selected animal into the vehicles trunk, least he get dirt on any part of his body. That nasty job was for the accompaning staff member to do. Finally upon learning he had errored in animal identification both sheep instead of cattle and dog instead of calf, the young gentleman would have immediately called a press conference to announce Congressional hearings to ban the importation of incorrectly labeled food stuffs. |
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