So proud of him, he passed with flying colours.
He grew up too while away, learnt to do Laundry so was in total shock when he came home with all clean clothes WOO HOO. I was dreading a suitcase full of 4 months of dirty clothes. He surprised me.
Well he has now got the call up for the training ship and has to fly to the tropics at the top of Australia to board the ship and he is away for 4 months. He goes christmas eve, we have to take him to the airport and say goodbye again to my baby boy.
Does it get any easier overtime saying hello and goodbye when they leave the nest. I really do have to get use to this as this is the way it will be for the next 18 months, away for months then home for 2 weeks.
Sheesh hard letting go. And for the first time in 19 years he is not here for Christmas day Sniff Sniff
|Sorry for the sorrow you are dealing with. It will get easier, but once they leave its never the same any more. They come back adults, like you said.
They marry and begin lives of their own. Sometimes it seems as though they've forgotten you altogether, but they haven't. It helps to remember your life at that age. To think about all those hopes and dreams you had, that they are having now. These are the times when we discover what "our" moms and dads went through, and then try to prepare our children for the day they'll experience it too.
Try allowing yourself to "put yourself" first now. Find new things to occupy time. Don't plan the "same" holidays, start new traditions. All these types of things help some, but when the kids leave they take a part of us with them. We have to accept the time we have and make the most of it by finding ways to "fit in" in their new lives as adults. That can be painful at times, but the happiness will far outweigh the sorrow.
|Aweee... I can't imagine how hard it is not to be with your son for Christmas! I think it was a lot easier for me than my parents the first time. I had friends and other stuff I care about while I was my mom's little baby.
For her, I'd say it doesn't get easier....
She doesn't see me often, so when she does... she always cries when she says goodbye. She's NOT a crier either.
I guess I lied. It did get better. She stopped crying when I had lil J. Now she never cried for me. She cries over lil J and it's a lot more crying than she did with me.
Maybe it's easier for families who get to see their loved ones more often. I don't know... Mr. J's mom is DEFINITELY not a crier either, but she goes to pieces for her only son!!!
Anyway, I'm sorry your time with him was cut short
|I feel your pain, Lisa. In my case, it does get easier, but not by much.
My son went to college in 2000, just 3 hours away from home. Even so, we only saw him on holidays and semester breaks, which were never long enough. I cried every time he left to go back. Now he's living in Arlington, VA, about 4 hours away from home. But when they start working, it's even harder to see them. He'll come home Friday and will go back on Tuesday because he has to work next week. At least we'll have him home on Christmas day, but to think he has to go back so quickly hurts my heart.
My daughter is a junior in college, only about 45 minutes from home. She also waitress's at a local restaurant, so we're lucky enough to see her more often, even if only for a short time while we eat at her restaurant. She's now home until the second week in January, so that helps.
To think of a time in the not too distant future when both kids will be home only for a few days at Christmas is too much for my brain to handle right now.
SO - does it get any easier? Yes, but your heart still yearns for their younger days.
|I was just thinking last night about starting apost for those with Children home for the Holidays, the good and the bad!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow morning I pick my daughter up at the airport for a 9 day visit. She is 2000 miles away and since she went to college I only see her about twice a year (she stays in Utah in the summer to work). I am so happy at the thought of seeing her but know the holiday will be fraught with frustration as she divides her time between different families and people.
After being on her own for almost 4 years I can forget any "parental" guidence while she is home and have to hope that any conflict is avoided. My biggest frustration is no knowing her schedule. In typical "young person" fashion she lives moment to moment and doesn't want to commit to plans til she knows all the possibilites.
Doug's four children are the same. So here it is 6 days before Christmas and I have NO IDEA who will be here when............ This morning we were talking on the way to work and Doug suggested buying a couple packs of hot dogs and letting who ever shows up cook em on the grill
But I guarantee that on the 29th of December when I take her to the plane to send her back to school I will be a weeping wailing MUSH
|Oh Lisa...can I ever relate.
My oldest two are living on the other side of the country. I saw my daughter in March but haven't seen my son for 2 years. I figure he's ok because he's at the same school as Ginny's daughter...lol. I doubt that he'll ever come up to Canada to see me. This is not home to either one of them...it's just where mom lives.
I'm lucky because my youngest two are still home but seem to be growing up before my eyes.
The only way I've lived with being so far away is knowing that they are God's children too....and right now He can keep an eye on them better than I can.... So far he's done a remarkable job!
|Hey Michele, I'm trying to find a "good boy" for my daughter (she keeps hooking up with CREEPS. Maybe we should get these two together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|My university son came home last week for the holidays....He is all grown up, now, especially since he turned 18 while he was gone... And, boy, does he ever eat lots!
Yes, Ginny, we need a support group....where do the parenting guidelines start and end , now?
Lisa, you will laugh. As soon as he came into the house I got a big hug, then I asked if he had any laundry that needed doing. He said immediately "mom, I do my own laundy now. There is no way you are doing it"....then he said, "well, that might change after I am home for a bit"....then a minute later he said "Mom, let me take some presents out of my suitcase and you can help yourself!!!
|HAHAHAHA, Nicole it's a tough thing to do but I always figured that once they went off to school they were living by their own rules and when they came home I couldn't expect them to revert to mine. So I try to turn a blind eye, unless it unsafe or illegal.|
|It always took a little bit of adjusting on both sides when us kids came home for teh holidays. A little less for me since I went to college in the same town, but my brothers went away.
My mom basically just expected respect and wanted to know roughly when we'd be home...she didn't mind if we stayed out all night (well, I'm sure she minded) as long as she knew we were going to be out all night (that way she didn't have to worry AS MUCH about us lying in a ditch somewhere.
My brother always butted heads with her, and I was like, why don't you just say Mom, I'm going out with X and Y and we'll be back pretty late. He always thought she was being nosy, but she just wanted to know when to worry. She said she never worried when we were away at college, but the minute we came home she did.
|It doesn't matter how old your kids are, when you are a Mom and they are home you NEVER really sleep til you know they are safe and sound!!|
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