More Laffy Taffy Jokes

OK folks. Type them in, your best. Please nothing but LTJ's, no stories, just Laffy Taffy Jokes. I'll start with 8 more:

What has 10 letters that starts with gas? -- Automobile.

Why did the golfer get thrown out of the scorer's tent? -- It was his tee pee.

Where does a general put his armies? -- In his sleevies. Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!

When does it rain money? -- When there is a change in weather.

Where did the Sheepdog Pirate hang out? -- oes.arrrrgh (I'm going to repeat this until it gets a laugh.)

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? -- "Ouch."

What are the strongest days of the week? -- Saturday and Sunday; every other is a weekday.

Why did the Boy Scout get in trouble? -- He ran out of TP.
Respond to this topic here on forum.oes.org  
Get the hook!
Ron wrote:
Where did the Sheepdog Pirate hang out? -- oes.arrrrgh (I'm going to repeat this until it gets a laugh.)


SHEEPDOG PIRATE???????????? He hangs out at oes.org!!!!!!
:lol:
oes.ARRRRRG oes.ARRRRRG!

It is pronounced just like oes.org (with the "org" sounding like the beginning of "org"anization). oes.arrrrrg like a pirate's "Arrrrrh"

I am going to hit my head against the wall now...
:excited: I GET IT! I GET IT!!!!! :excited:

Its just that my dog is Pirate...and...and .... oh, nebbermind!

BTW...what is a laffy taffy joke (besides really bad)?
debcram wrote:


BTW...what is a laffy taffy joke (besides really bad)?


a joke from a laffy taffy wrapper
OES.ARRRGGG :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Now that's funny!

(Anybody think that'll make him stop?)

Here's my contribution:

Why did the Phantom of the Opera leave the stage?
He got Booed


Yuck yuck yuck!
GEEZ! I didn't know laffy taffy had jokes on the wrapper. See how much culture I've missed!

Here's my contribution:

What's Irish and stays out all night?
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Patio furniture
:rimshot:
What did the finger say to the thumb? -- I'm in glove with you
Ham and eggs walk into a bar. Ham orders a beer and egg orders a scotch on the rocks.

The bartender says...sorry...we don't serve breakfast here!

:rimshot:
A guy is adrift on a boat with a pack of cigarettes but no matches. How did he get his smoking fix?

Answer below.... don't cheat....




























Ready?



























He tossed one cigarette overboard, and that made....





















the boat....



















a cigarette lighter.
:roll: grrrrrrrrrrrroan! 8O
HA!! :lol:
:lol:
Why is it so hard to play poker in the jungle?....


















Because there are so many cheetas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Yuck, Yuck, Yuck) :rimshot:
:lol: :lol:
debcram wrote:
Why is it so hard to play poker in the jungle?....


















Because there are so many cheetas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Yuck, Yuck, Yuck) :rimshot:



OOOOOHhhh, I like that one!
This is it!!!!!!

Here it is!!!!

They are looking for ME!

Check out the video link on the right hand side of the page, it's much better than the written word:
http://www.prnewswire.com/mnr/wonka/26500/

My calling is calling! I won't let my career path path me by!
Ron wrote:
My calling is calling! I won't let my career path path me by!



Funny!
Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick!

So dumb it's hilarious!!!
What did one wall say to the other wall?



A: Meet you at the corner.
Who dug this oldie topic up?

Thank you! I love it!!! The cornier the better!
What is the best time to see the dentist?
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.Two thirty!
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.Tooth hurty... get it?
why dont seagulls fly over the bay???


























because then they'd be called bay-gulls!!!!!! teehee
:lol: :roll: :lol:
Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the sald dressing!!

This is one of the best ones ever!! I love laffy taffy jokes
What did the mushroom say when he was kicked out of the bar???


"Hey! I'm a fun guy!"
What washes up on tiny beaches?


Micro Waves
what kind of shorts do storm clouds wear?

Thunder wear.

Why didn't the Teddy bear finish his supper?

He was already stuffed.

I love Laffy Taffy
:lol: :lol: :lol: Great for a Friday afternoon pick-me-up!
Why do cows were bells around their necks?












because their horns don't work :cow:
What do you call a fly with no wings?






A walk!
What do you call the lady with one leg shorter than the other?









Eileen :wink:
How do you fix a tomato?
With tomato paste!

How do you fix a pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch!

If a potato and a cabbage had a race, who would win?

The cabbage, CUZ IT'S A HEAD!!! :rimshot:
I just don't get the oes.argh sheepdog joke. I've tried to make sense of it phoneticly (ozark?) and everyway else, but can't get it to sound lke anything. Help!
There is an explanation just a few spots below.

Otherwise:

This forum is OES.org...........but if you have a certain accent the "org" sounds a bit like "arrrg".......which is what a pirate says, "Arrrrgh! Matie, walk the plank."
:clappurple: :clappurple: :clappurple:

Thanks for the laugh today guys and gals (even Ron...)

My turn:

What do you call a girl lying in the middle of a tennis court?







Annette.

:rimshot:
What is a pig with laryngitis?













Disgruntled
Four fonts walk into a bar.

Bartender yell's, "get out! We don't serve your type here". :pupeyes: :lmt: :excited: :twitch:
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants when he went golfing?
Answer: in case he got a hole-in-one!




What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
Answer: you can't tuna fish



What do you do to keep a bull from charging?
Answer: take away his credit card!
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve food here!"
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